The Organization Goes Ice Skating
by WindOfDancingFlames
Summary: Pretty self explanatory. Marluxia is having the time of his life, Axel is not, Zexion pwns all at DDR, Vexen is in paradise, and Demyx is goofing around at the snack bar. Please review!
1. Deciding on the Field Trip

Heehee! I'm the Pillsbury Doughboy! Poke my tummy or die! I have decided to write a comedy! DUN DUN DUUUN!

In case you were wondering, this is about Organization XIII. It will be OOC.

Yaar. I kinda hope you like it.

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The Organization Goes Ice Skating

Everybody in the castle was gathered in the meeting room with Xemnas sitting in his overly large sized chair.

"Now everybody don't forget our evil bake sale next week," he stated. "And don't you dare attempt to try and bake cookies again, Larxene. Do you remember what happened last time?"

"Well, Axel shouldn't have eaten so many," she said in a whiney voice.

"One week of pain and indigestion and you blame _me?"_ asked Axel. "And anyway, I only ate ten."

"Hey! It wasn't my fault! I swear Vexen put some of his toxic sludge into the dough!"

"Oh, right," said Vexen sarcastically. "Always blame it on the old guy."

"Silence!" yelled Xemnas. "You people are way too annoying!"

"Yeah, what he said," said Saïx.

Xemnas was getting red in the face.

"Anyways, now we must decide on our yearly field trip. That is why I have brought you here."

"Ooooooh! Ooooooooh!" yelled Demyx. "I've got a really good idea!"

"What is it?" asked Zexion boredly.

"We could go to M&M World!"

"Yay!" screamed Axel.

"You have enough sugar already, Demyx," said Saïx. "And so do you, Axel."

"Aw darnit!" they chorused.

"Lexaeus wants to go to box factory!" yelled Lexaeus. "Boxes make Lexaeus happy!"

He suddenly got pelted with multiple office supplies, poorly thrown by Vexen.

"Do you even know how many grammatical errors you so stupidly expressed in that 'so-called' sentence of yours? Clearly you don't know whether to express your thoughts in third person or first. I shall have to tutor you on my own free time," said Vexen.

"Lexaeus's brain hurts bad."

"Mine too," said Xigbar.

"Where should we go?" asked Xemnas to himself.

"We could go to an alternate dimension and start a reign of terror and destruction," suggested Xaldin.

"No, no," said Xemnas. "We did that last year. We have to think of something more fun."

"What could be more fun than that?" asked Luxord.

"Ooooh. I've got an idea," piped up Marluxia.

"What is it?" everybody asked.

"We could go ice skating!"

"Wait," said Axel. "You mean with _ice? _The frozen form of my arch nemesis, water?"

"Yep."

"Ice _is _frozen water, so I'd do that," said Demyx.

"Yeah, and I like rollerblading, so it can't be that different," said Roxas.

"But I…" said Axel.

"I like ice," said Vexen.

"I don't care," said Zexion.

"Sounds like that's what we're doing," said Xemnas. "All in favor of it, raise your hands."

Everybody raised their hands except for Zexion and Axel. Zexion didn't care and Axel just…is Axel.

"It's settled then! Next week on March 28, we go ice skating!"

"Everyone remember to mark your calendars!" yelled Saïx.

As soon as he said that they all poofed outta there.

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Well, that's the first chapter. The next ones will be longer, I promise, but that was just an introduction.

PLEASE REVIEW!

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P.S. review!


	2. Going to the Ice Rink

Heehee! I'm updating faster than I usually do! Whoa nelly!

I am HyPeR. Sorry.

Ahora esta el tiempo de el chapter dos.

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Chapter 2: Going to the Ice Rink

Well, today was March 28 (A/N: Yay!) and everybody in the Organization was ready to go ice skating. Of course, Axel looked like he had gained almost 200 pounds because he had so many layers of clothes on.

"Um, Axel?" asked Zexion. "How many layers of clothes _do _you have on?" All Zexion was wearing were a pair of purple earmuffs, purple mittens, and a purple scarf.

"Well, lemme think," thought Axel. "I've got…5 shirts, 4 coats, a parka, 2 pairs of shorts, I don't even know how many pairs of pants, 3 pairs of underwear, 2 pairs of gloves, 5 pairs of fuzzy socks, a pair of fur-lined boots, a few scarves, some earmuffs, and a hat for my nose in case it gets cold."

He pulled out a nose-shaped hat from one of his multiple pockets.

"You know you don't need all of that," said Zexion.

"Oh yes I do. I don't want to get cold now, do I?"

"No, but I think you're overdoing it a bit. I mean, can't you, like, light yourself on fire to get warm or something?"

"Yes, but that depletes my MP."

"So? I thought you _liked _setting yourself on fire, no matter what the cost."

"Yes, but…"

"Okay everybody!" yelled Xemnas from across the room. "Get your lazy carcasses over here!"

So they all 'got their lazy carcasses over there.'

"Okay, the plan is to cram the first seven members into my SUV and all of the others into Saïx's."

"But who will drive Saïx's car if he's supposed to go into yours?" asked Larxene.

"That's simple," said Xemnas. "We just switch Axel and Saïx around."

"Lexaeus wonders how us will fit Axel into car. Axel look like black marshmallow with limbs," stated Lexaeuse ever-so-stupidly.

"Hmmmm…it seems that Axel will have to leave his extra clothes here," said Xemnas.

"WHAT!" yelled Axel. "It took me nearly two hours to put this stuff all on! And I'll get cold!"

"Well, I'm sure it'll be faster taking all of those clothes off," said Saïx.

"But I…"

"Just shut up and get changed, Axel."

He hung his head down.

"Yes, sir."

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After a surprising ten minutes of waiting, Axel came out again with a pair of black earmuffs, some black mittens, and a black scarf. Oh yes, and of course he had his black nosehat.

"If I get cold, then I'm blaming you, Elrond," Axel threatened to Saïx.

"Don't call me that," scowled Saïx.

"What about Legolas?" asked Axel.

"No."

"Galadriel?"

"I'm not a girl, Axel."

"Fine. I shall call you Link."

"WHAT! I'm Elven, not Hylian! Do my ears really look that long to you?"

"Yes…" muttered Marluxia almost inaudibly.

"I heard that," said Saïx.

"Let's go already," said Roxas.

"Yeah, I'm getting bored," said Zexion.

Demyx looked at him and quirked an eyebrow.

"What do you mean by 'getting bored'?" he asked. "Aren't you always bored?"

"Yeah, you do have a point, Demyx," said Xaldin.

"I hate everything," said Zexion.

"Butter toast!" screamed Lexaeus.

"Did someone say fire!" asked Axel excitedly.

"Darkness is better than you and you know it!" exclaimed Xemnas.

"Um…may I suggest that we skip to the next scene before this one gets any weirder?" said Saïx.

"Good call, elfie," said Xigbar.

Saïx gave him an evil look.

"You know you're an elf too, right?" asked Saïx.

"I feel so alone…," said Xigbar.

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While we were skipping to the next scene, the characters had gotten into their assigned cars and are currently driving alone Highway 16…

(In Xemnas's car)

"Eeew!" exclaimed Zexion. "Why did the authoress of this story decide to pick Highway 16 to drive on? She must know that I hate country."

"Ummm…Zexion?" asked Xemnas. "That's only a station on XM Satellite radio. Highway 16 is completely country-free."

"Oh, phew," said Xigbar.

They were all riding in a black Nissan Ultima, with Xemmy at the wheel, Zexion in the passenger's seat, Xigbar and Xaldin in the back with Axel squished in between them, and Vexen and Lexaeus in the way back. There was much traffic on Highway 16, and Xemnas was starting to get annoyed.

"Augh!" he yelled. "Why won't this guy move it! He's going like two miles per hour!"

"Um, Xemnas?" said Vexen. "That guy in front of us is Saïx. You can tell it's his Winnebago."

"Oh. Oops."

Yes, sadly, Saïx drove an old, beat up Winnebego. The giant trailer took up nearly all of the lane space.

"Is us there yet?" asked Lexaeus from the back.

"We'll get there when we get there!" said Xemnas, tightening his grip on the wheel. "Just shut up!"

"Stop kicking me, Xigbar!" yelled Axel. "I'm uncomfortable enough already!"

"Sorry," said Xiggy. "I think Zexion is controlling me with his mind."

"I am not!" yelled Zexion. "Lexaeus is poking you. Your muscles must be reacting by kicking Axel."

"Oh yeah right," said Axel. "You hate me. You just want to get back at me for what I did to you at last year's Christmas party."

"Oh yes," said Zexion. "I remember it like it was yesterday…yesterday...yesterday…yesterday…"

"Oh great," said Xaldin. "I hate flashbacks."

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(flashback)

"Hey, have you guys seen Zexion?" asked Luxord.

"Nope," answered everyone.

"I wonder where he is…"

Castle Oblivion was happily decorated with wreaths and tinsel and bright red bows. There was a huge jug of hot apple cider in the center of the room with cookies all around it. Nearlt everyone was wearing Santa hats, and Saïx looked more like an elf than ever. Suddenly Zexion burst into the room…drunk? It sure seemed like it.

"Hey, Zex," said Roxas. "Are you okay?"

"Mazltov!" he yelled.

He lazily walked over to Roxas and hung his arm around his neck.

"Heeeeeeeeey…Roxy!" (hic) "Yuuuur my (hic) best frieeeeeeeeend (hic)…"

"Well, actually, Axel is my best friend, and I think somebody has had too much to drink," said Roxas.

"I only had (hic) two cups!"

"Listen, why don't you go to bed? You might…"

"Bed shmed! I don't need (hic) no stiiiiiinking bed! I am _invincible!"_

"Here. Maybe I can help you."

Roxas looked around.

"Where is that pyro?" he muttered to himself.

As if on cue, Axel walked into the room with a pair of light-up antlers on his head.

"Whoa. What happened to Zexion?" he asked. "He looked extremely wasted."

"I think he got drunk on apple cider."

Axel laughed evilly.

"My plan worked!" he yelled happily.

"Whooooa!" exclaimed Zexion. "Axell's (hic) turning into a monkey! PEACE OUT!"

He fell over and hit the ground with a dull thud, immediately falling asleep.

"What plan?" asked Roxas.

"Well, because Zexion is always hating my guts, while he was in his room putting a Santa hat on, I devised an evil plan to get revenge."

"So what'd you do?" asked Luxord out of nowhere.

"I put my secret stash of whiskey into his jar of cider in his room, hoping he wouldn't notice. He didn't, obviously, and chugged the whole jar down. I took some pictures with my camera and am planning to place them on the evil bulletin board next week."

"Sweet!" said Roxas, high-fiving Axel.

(end flashback)

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"Wait," said Xigbar, still kicking Axel. "I'm kicking Axel because Zexion wants revenge?"

"Yep," said Vexen.

"OW! That was my eye, you twit!" yelled Axel. "Make it stop, Zexion!"

"Not until you say sorry."

"I shall never do such a thing!"

"Lexaeus asks Superior to shut them up," said Lexaeus.

"Shut up," said Xemnas.

Axel and Zexion were still bickering back and forth.

"I said _shut up," _said Xemnas more loudly.

Axel and Zexion were arguing even more.

"Did you hear me! I said SHUT THE #!)# UP!"

Everything was silent and Lexaeus had his hands over his ears.

"Find happy place! Find happy place!" yelled Lexaeus.

"Be quiet! Driving is hard enough already!" yelled Xemnas. "I should remind Saïx later about how much he sucks at driving…"

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(in Saïx's car)

"Hey!" yelled Larxene. "Luxord cheated again!"

"I did not!" yelled Luxord. "You're just delusional!"

"Be quiet!" yelled Saïx. "It's impossible to drive with you people arguing all the time, especially in a Winnebago."

"Sorry," they both said.

In Saïx's car, Saïx was driving (obviously), Marly was in the passenger's seat, Larxene and Luxord were playing Blackjack at a table in the middle of the trailer, and Demyx and Roxas were taking turns playing Final Fantasy X on Saïx's TV/Playstation 2.

"No!" yelled Demyx. "Use Tidus to cast Haste! Everyone knows that!"

"Well, you could've told me that sooner! No! No no no no no no! Stupid Simspawn Gui just killed Auron and I'm all out of Phoenix Downs!" complained Roxas.

"I told you you should've gotten some more from O'aka when you had the chance. But no, you never listen to the crazy guy with the mullet."

"Aw dang! I just died!"

"Yay! My turn!"

Demyx snatched the remote from Roxas. Meanwhile, In the front of the trailer…

"So, Saïx," said Marluxia. "Are you, like, too poor to afford a real car, or what?"

"Okay, first of all," answered Saïx. "This is no car, it is a trailer. And furthermore, Xemnas doesn't pay me nearly enough to do this job, so yes. All I can afford to drive is a dinged up Winnebago."

"I see. So does your taste in cars reflect on your taste in music, 'cuz this music sucks. What is it, like classical or something?"

"Yes. It reminds me of my home country."

"What's your home country, _Lothlorien?"_

"No. It's Rivendell."

"Oh. So would you mind if I changed the channel or CD, or whatever this is?"

"Knock yourself out."

"Sweet."

Marluxia reached forward and tuned the radio.

"There we go. Mix 94.1. Today's best music mix."

"What does that mean?" asked Saïx.

"That means it's better music than classical," stated Marly.

"It isn't that great. It's only a few people singing with guitar in the background."

"Yeah, but at least it's better."

There was a long moment of silence with the music in the background.

"You know, I like you," said Marly.

"Well, I like you too," said Saïx.

"No, I mean I _like _you like you."

Just then the door to the cockpit opened and hit Marluxia in the face, at least knocking him out for ten minutes. Demyx came in frantically.

"Do you have any other video games, Saïx?" he asked.

"Yes. Why?"

"I…can't…beat…Sinspawn Gui! Those fricken arms keep regenerating!"

"Um, okay. Here's Burnout. Have fun."

He handed mullet man Burnout, which he took with much glee and satisfaction.

"Man, elves know the cure to everything," said Demyx as he walked out.

Once he was gone and the door was closed, Saïx sat back in his seat comfortably and continued steering.

"I don't think I will ever say this again, but thank God for Demyx," he muttered to himself.

They continued driving for about ten more minutes (by now Marly was awake and totally having no idea what happened earlier) and they finally reached the ice skating rink. Surprisingly, almost nobody was there. Saïx drove into a Winnebago-sized parking place and parked there. Xemnas parked in a Winnebago-sized parking place too, just because he wanted to feel special. Then everybody got out and lined up in front of Xemnas.

"Does everybody have their ten dollars?" he asked.

Everybody held them up in approval.

"Good," said Xemnas. "Let's go inside!"

They all walked inside, completely unaware of what evil things would happen next…

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Well, that was chapter two.

You can tell I've watched Spaceballs lately because of the Winnebago idea. And sorry if I offended anybody with OOC-ness.

PLEEZ REVOO!

ya


	3. Hockey Game, DDR, Vexen's Eyesight

Hola. Bienvenidos a la tres chapter!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I heart KH2!

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Chapter Three: Zexion and Axel Go to the Arcade, Hockey Game of DOOM, Vexen's Poor Eyesight

Everybody was at the skate rental counter, except for Axel and Zexion because Zexion couldn't care less and Axel was just…Axel. Once everybody had their skates on (which took about 30 minutes because Roxas's feet were so big that the people had to find the biggest size possible), they all went out onto the ice, Marluxia the only one wearing figure skates.

Meanwhile Axel and Zexion were sitting outside the rink on a cold metal bench with their feet propped up casually.

"This is boring," said Axel.

"Everything's boring," said Zexion.

They watched Marluxia do many fancy twirls and figure eights on the ice.

"So what do you want to do?" asked Axel.

"Nothing, like I always do."

"Well that's boring. Why don't we go into the arcade?"

"There are arcades in ice rinks?"

"Of course there are! We should go! It'll be warmer in there."

"Whatever," said Zexion.

They both got up and walked down to the arcade.

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"Hey, have you guys seen Vexen?" asked Luxord.

"Nope," said Xaldin. "Have you seen him, Xiggy?"

"I am in a pickle," said Xigbar. "I think he went to go change his skates or something."

"Okay," said Luxord. "Thanks."

He skated off casually, almost being run over by Demyx, who was being chased by Saïx because he kept throwing ice chunks at him. He went out of the rink and walked towards the skate rental counter. Sure enough, Vexen was there getting some…figure skates? Luxord walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. The old fart almost jumped up into the air.

"Um, Vexen? Why are you renting figure skates?"

"Because hockey skates are too loose," answered Vexen simply. "I want my feet to be comfortable, you know."

"Oh," said Luxord. "So I'm judging that you're not going to play hockey with us?"

"Yes. I'd rather just skate around the rink anyways."

"Whatever," said Luxord, skating back onto the ice.

Vexen stood there for a little while longer until a short, blonde teenage girl with glasses handed him a rather small pair of figure skates. He took them and glanced at her name card.

"Thank you…" he stopped for a moment and squinted his eyes a bit. "….Christine."

"Um, dude?" said Christine. "You need some glasses."

"No I don't. My eyesight is perfectly fine."

"Alright then. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Um…two?"

"Nope. That was one. Let's try this again."

She lifted up her hand.

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Um…five?"

"Dude. That was only one."

"Again?"

"Yep."

"Can you do it again?"

"Sure. Why not? How many fingers?" She was getting bored, Vexen could tell.

"One!"

"Nope. It was two."

"Dangit! Why didn't somebody tell me my eyesight was so bad?"

"I'm guessing that nobody cared," said Christine boredly. "Are those skates gonna work for you or not?"

"Um, yeah. I think so. I should remind myself to get glasses sometime in the near future. Thank you, young adolescent."

He turned around with his skates in his hands and walked directly into a pole, which he hadn't noticed before. He fell over and K.O.ed.

"Wait," said Christine. "What?"

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Lexaeus, Xigbar, Demyx, Luxord, Xaldin, Xemnas, Saïx, Roxas, and sadly, Larxene, were all ready to play hockey. They were split up into two teams: Lexaeus, Xaldin, Demyx, and Saïx were on one team; and Xigbar, Luxord, Roxas, Xemnas, and Larxene were on the other. The first team to have the puck was Xemnas's team-named the Dusks. Lexaeus's team was named the Boxes (obviously named by Lexaeus). Luxord was the goalie for the Dusks and Xaldin was the goalie for the Boxes.

Demyx and Xemnas were in the middle of the rink with the puck in between them. Then some random referee blew a whistle and they were off. Surprisingly, Demyx got the puck first and was already skating like a madman down the rink, heading straight for the Dusk's goal. Saïx was right next to him, so Demyx slapped the puck over to him. Saïx caught it and was about to put the puck into the goal when a circle of moving cards knocked him over, leaving Larxene open to take the puck to the other side of the rink. Saïx got up, almost ready to blow up.

"They didn't tell me that we could use magic!" he yelled angrily.

He summoned up his claymore and plunged it into the ice, creating a huge crack that continued until it reached Larxene, making her fall down into the ice. Suddenly the referee blew his whistile, skating over to meet Saïx.

"Unfair sportsmanship!" yelled the ref, who Saïx had just noticed was a girl. "That's a warning! If it happens again, your team is DISQUAIFIED! Do I make myself clear?"

"Who are you to boss _me _around?" asked Saïx angrily, staring at her name card. "You aren't even cool enough to have an x in your name, Chanelle!"

The blonde ref got angry.

"Fine, mister," she said. "You and your team are **DISQUALIFIED!"**

"Way to go, Saïx!" yelled Xaldin. "You just cost us our game!"

"No I didn't This ref is just evil! I demand another one!"

"Demand this!" yelled Chanelle.

She skated as fast as she could towards Saïx, knocking him into the huge rift he had created.

"Anybody else got any objections?" asked Chanelle.

"Nope," said Xigbar. "I think we're good."

"Good."

Chanelle skated over to where Saïx was pulling himself out of the rift.

"You, sir, better fix this or you're going to get in more trouble than you're worth!" she yelled. "Understand?"

"Yes'm," said Saïx with his head down.

"Well, I guess that eliminates hockey," said Roxas.

"Lexaeus thinks us should take break and go find ice man," said Lexaeus.

"You mean Vexen?" asked Xigbar.

"Lexaeus says yes."

"Good idea," said Xemnas. "I don't want Saïx to get beaten into an elfy pulp because we couldn't fix that huge rift."

Xemnas helped Saïx up and they all skated off to find Vexen.

"Hey guys!" yelled Demyx. "I'm gonna go to the snack bar. Is that okay?"

"Sure!" yelled Luxord. "But you can only go if you get me some nachos."

"Got it!" yelled Demyx, skating off to the snack bar.

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_(at the arcade)_

"What's this machine?" asked Zexion. "Dance Dance Revolution?"

"Whoa!" said Axel. "I can't believe I didn't see that before. Let's play!"

"But what do you do?"

"You dance, of course! Why do you think they call it **Dance Dance **Revolution?"

"Well, I guess you're right, but I don't really wanna dance…"

"Oh, c'mon Zexion! It's better than it sounds!"

"Yeah, but it costs a dollar for one game. I only have ten…"

Before you could say "evil toast monsters from beyond the coffeepot", Axel had grabbed Zexion, pushed him onto the machine, and inserted two dollars worth of coins into the coin slot.

"How do you play?" asked Zexion.

"Just match the arrows when they meet the ones at the top of the screen," answered Axel. "I'll start you out on Light mode, just so you get the hang of it."

He selected Light for Zexion and Standard for himself.

"I'll let you pick the song since you've never played before," said Axel. "Just be aware that the more feet this scale has (he pointed to the scale at the bottom left), the harder it gets."

"Sounds easy enough."

He scrolled back and forth between songs until he found one called "Butterfly". He selected it and the song began.

"If you get lost, then just look at how I do it," said Axel.

"Alright," said Zexion.

The arrows started moving, and by the end of the song Zexion got a 201 combo and a AAA, while Axel got a 45 combo and a B.

"You know, that seemed like it was way too easy for me," said Zexion. "Can you change the difficulty?"

"Sure," said Axel. "Just step on the back arrow twice until it says you're on Standard."

Zexion followed said directions and then Axel picked the next song: Kick the Can. By this time, Zexion had gotten the hang of it and was totally kicking Axel's butt. In the end, Axel got a C and Zexion got an A.

"Wow," said Axel. "You're kinda good. I dare you to try it on Heavy."

"What will you give me if I do?" asked Zexion.

"If you pass, which is a C or higher, I'll pay for both of our games. If you lose, you gotta pay."

"Deal. Who gets to pick the song?"

"I will. Hmmmmmm…this one is catchy."

He selected a song called "Exotic Ethnic" and smiled evilly. There was no way Zexion could pass this on Heavy. He could barely pass this on Standard himself. The music started playing and the arrows started moving.

"You're about to lose two dollars, my friend," said Axel, starting to dance.

"Nuh-uh," said Zexion. "First of all, I am not your friend, and second of all, you suck at dancing."

He was right. Axel's dancing gauge was flashing red and Zexion's was all the way full. In the end, Zexion got a B and Axel got an E. Zexion only got a B because he messed up at the end.

"Wow," said Axel. "I really do suck."

"Yep. And now you've gotta pay for _my _game, as well as yours."

"But that's not fair! You were supposed to lose! I wanna rematch!"

"Well, in order to have a rematch, _somebody _has to pay for it."

"Aw darnit!"

He pulled out two bucks worth of coins and inserted them into the machine. The rematch was about to begin……

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Well, that's chapter three for ya.

Hope you enjoyed. I won't be updating for a while because I'll be playing KH2 all the time, so review while you can.

REVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREIVEWREIVEWREVIEW!


	4. The Snack Bar, Renting Figure Skates

Bienvenidos al cuatro chapter! Ven Demyx va a la restaurante de la hielo centre. Y Saïx da Christine los eskatos!

Don't even know what I just said. Anyway, here's the fourth chapter. Hope u like it.

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Chapter Four: Snack Bar, Figure Skating

Demyx walked over to the snack bar. Nobody was at the counter, so he rang the little bell that said 'please ring if nobody is here'. Of course, being how immature he is, he started ringing the bell over and over again. Finally, a medium-sized brunette girl with dorky glasses came up to the counter.

"Yes, yes. Thank you for making sure the bell works," she said, lifting Demyx's hand off of the bell. "Now can I help you, or are you just here to annoy me to death?"

"Oh, yeah," said Demyx. "I'd like some chili-cheese fries, a Dr.Pepper, one of those pretzels with a side of cheese, a bag of popcorn, a Fudgesicle, a hot dog with some chili and ketchup, a bag of Funyuns, a Hershey's chocolate bar, and a thing of nachos for my friend Luxord."

"Can you eat all of that?" asked the snack bar person.

"I'm a growing teenager, and I need my nutrition. Of course I can eat all of this."

"Is that all you're ordering?"

"Yep."

"So your total will be $101.53."

"What! I only have ten bucks! Since when does everything cost so much?"

"Since the age of the dinosaur. Now pay up, or order something else."

"Now listen here, cashier lady, I…"

"My name is Katie, not cashier lady."

"Right, so Katie, what if I give you something else for all of this food?"

"Like what?" asked Katie.

"Well, I've got this really cool sterling silver keychain I stole from this old guy in Twilight Town. It's probably worth at least a hundred bucks. The only thing that's weird about it is that it's got these shiny thingies on it that I can't get out."

"Can I see it?"

"Sure."

He dug into his pocket and pulled out a silver keychain with little shiny gems on it. But the "shiny thingies" were actually diamonds. He handed it over to Katie and she took it with much glee and satisfaction. This thing had to be worth thousands of dollars!

"Um, yeah," she said. "I'll give you all of this food for it."

"Awesome! You're the best cashier lady I've ever met!"

After about ten minutes of preparing all of his food, Katie went and set it down in front of him and went to go drool over the new keychain. While Demyx was eating all of his food, Luxord showed up to get his nachos.

"Whoa! How much did all of this cost?" he asked.

"Only about a hundred dollars," said Demyx, munching on a fry.

"What! How did you afford all of that!"

"I gave the cashier a keychain."

"Awesome."

He sat down with Demyx and started eating his nachos.

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Saïx and everyone else walked to the skate rental, where Vexen lay down on the floor unconscious. Saïx went over to him and kicked him, but he remained still.

"Yup, he's unconscious," said Saïx to the others. He looked over to the counter, where a girl with her feet propped up was sitting down. He walked over to the counter.

"Um, excuse me?" he asked.

The girl looked up at him.

"How may I help you, m'am?" she asked.

Saïx furrowed his brow.

"I'm a guy."

"Oh, I just assumed that you were a girl because of your dress and freakishly long hair."

"It's not a dress. It's an evil cloak of doom. And _all _elves have freakishly long hair."

"Oops. I'm sorry."

He glanced at her namecard.

"So, Christine, what exactly happened to Vexen here?"

"Well, we were both arguing about how bad his vision is, and as soon as he turned around he ran into a pole and blacked out, all because he didn't see it before."

"Interesting. What was he doing here?" asked Xigbar from behind him.

"He was getting some figure skates," said Christine. "Said something about skating with this girl named Marluxia."

"Actually, Marluxia's a guy," said Saïx. "But don't worry, it's a common misconception."

"So are you people all men that look like girls or something?"

Lexaeus popped his head out of the black-cloaked crowd.

"Lexaeus doesn't," he said proudly. "Lexaeus are big strong man!"

"Yeah, that's really great," said Christine. "So are you people just going to sit around here and annoy me to death, or do you want my help with something?"

"Uh, yeah," said Saïx. "Where's the figure skating rink?"

"Walk straight down the hall and take a left."

"Thanks. And can I get some size 19 figure skates?"

Everyone who was crowded around Vexen started laughing.

"Oh my god!" yelled Roxas. "You're feet are bigger than mine!"

Saïx's face turned the color of Axel's hair.

"_All _elves have incredibly large feet," said Saïx with his face turning an even deeper shade of red.

"Would you like it in men's or women's size?" asked Christine, trying to hold back her laughter.

"Women's…"

Everybody exploded in laughter.

"I'll get those right away for you…m'am!" laughed Christine, walking to the back.

"So do _all _elves wear women's shoes?" asked Xemnas teasingly.

"No…"

Everybody laughed even more, half of them falling over because they laughed so hard. Christine finally came back with a pair of extraordinarily large figure skates.

"Man, it must suck to be you," she said, handing the skates to him. "So you wear women's skates because…?"

"Because they're a lot comfier than men's. Plus they look better on my delicate elf feet."

"You're starting to sound like Marluxia," said Vexen, who had all of a sudden miraculously waken up from his unconsciousness.

"Well that was fast," said Saïx.

"What was fast?" asked Vexen.

"You know what? I just forgot."

He looked at Christine.

"Do you remember?" he asked.

"Remember what?" she asked.

"I don't know. What were we talking about again?"

"Don't ask me," said Vexen. "I've been unconscious for twenty minutes."

"Oh," chorused Saïx and Christine.

"Well that was weird," said Roxas out of nowhere.

"Hey, I've got an idea," said Xigbar.

"What?" asked everybody.

"Well, after we get that huge rift fixed (he glared intensely at Saïx), we can change our hockey skates and have a skate-off."

"That's a good idea, but we should round everybody else up first," said Roxas. "Including Axel and Zexion."

"There is no way we could ever drag those two onto the ice," said Xaldin. "It would be impossible."

"Lexaeus thinks Sonic the Hedgehog man are paranoid," said Lexaeus.

"You mean Axel?" asked Xemnas.

"Lexaeus says yes."

"Well, I'm sure we can find a way to get them to skate," said Vexen.

"What about depressed man who needs major haircut?" asked Lexaeus.

"You mean Zexion?"

"Lexaeus says yes."

"We'll deal with him too. Although he _could _care less…"

"How about this," said Saïx. "We split up into two groups- one going to the Snack Bar and the other going to the Arcade. After that, we meet back here and get figure skates."

"Sounds good," said Xemnas. "But first we've gotta fix that rift."

"Right," said Vexen. "Leave that to me."

So they all went to their respective groups (which was exactly the same as their hockey teams) while Vexen went to the hockey rink to mend the ice.

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Sorry that was so short, but I promise the next chappie will be longer.

REVIEWREVIEWREIVEWREIVEWRIEVEWIREVIEWREIVEWIREIVEWREVIEWREIVEWIREVIEWREVIEWREVIEWREIVEWVIREWVIREWERWERIIVREWREVIEW!

I think I might've spelled one of those wrong.

Anyway, **_REVIEW!_**


	5. Getting Ready for the Skateoff

Ah, let's just start this.

Chapter Five: Getting Ready for the Skateoff

Axel was leaning on the DDR machine, panting and sweating profusely. Axel had eventually melted the lock on the coin bank because he owed Zexion way too much money and figured out it was pretty pointless to keep paying him with his own money. Zexion totally pwned him at DDR and had just finished doing Maxx Unlimited on Heavy, earning himself a AAA.

"I'll play you again," he said, walking over to Axel.

Axel glared at him. This guy hadn't even broken a sweat yet!

"I'll go easy on you, I promise," said Zexion. "Plus we have all the money we could ever need to play DDR now."

Axel slowly lifted himself off of the DDR machine.

"Zexion, I really would _love _to, but I'm afraid I can't right now because my legs feel like they're going to fall off and I have the unmistakable urge to set something on fire. You can go have fun without me."

"Whatever. You really don't know what you're missing."

"Oh don't worry, I do know," said Axel, going over to sit down on a bench.

Zexion walked over to the DDR machine and just as he was about to put some money in, the arcade doors burst open. He turned around and saw a tall girl with medium-size brown hair walk in with a bag of quarters in hand. He quickly scooted in front of the open coin bank in the DDR machine, hoping she wouldn't see it. After all, her name tag did say "Hello My Name is Amanda- Arcade Manager."

"Um, hi," said Zexion. "What exactly are you doing here?"

"I'm the Arcade Manager, if you'll look at my name card," she said. "I have to check on this place every few hours."

"Oh," said Zexion. "Ummm…could you maybe come back later?"

Amanda glared into his skull.

"Why?" she asked suspiciously.

"Unh, no reason. It's just that I don't like to have people inspecting arcades while I play DDR."

She walked toward him and pushed him off the machine, revealing the open coin bank.

"Aha! I knew there was something wrong here! I should call the cops and have you arrested."

"B-but I didn't do it!" yelled Zexion.

"Who did, then?"

Zexion looked around the room, hoping to find a certain redheaded pyro. When he finally found him, he stuck an accusing finger out.

"He did it!" yelled Zexion.

"What!" yelled Axel. "I didn't even play as long as you did! It's obvious that he did it."

"You're lying! This lock is melted! I can't melt anything! You can!"

"Why I oughtta set you on fire for that you little garbage sniffing runt!"

"Shut up you anorexic moomba!"

"Depressant sniffer!"

"Marluxia poser!"

"Sissy little girl!"

"Man with hemorrhoids!"

"Pot head!"

"SHUT UP!" yelled Amanda. "Your arguing is driving me further into insanity! I'll just have to let the cops arrest both of you if you can't decide who did it!"

"Quick Zexion!" yelled Axel. "Use your mind control powers!"

Zexion turned and looked at Amanda.

"You do not want to call the cops and have them arrest us for vandalizing a DDR machine," said Zexion.

"I do not want to call the cops and have them arrest you for vandalizing a DDR machine," said Amanda, almost zombie-like.

"You want to hand me that bag of quarters in your hand."

"I want to hand you this bag of quarters in my hand."

Amanda did said thing.

"You want to go home and…rethink your life."

"I want to g-hey wait! You stole that from Star Wars episode 2! I can't believe you!"

"Run for your life!" yelled Axel, running out of the arcade.

"Right behind you!" yelled Zexion.

They ran as fast as they could out of the arcade just as Amanda was about to pummel them. They ran out into the long hall that eventually led to the ice rink.

"What do we do now?" asked Zexion while he was running.

Axel reached into his pocket and pulled out a few crumpled pieces of paper. Zexion stared at him weirdly.

"What's that?" he asked.

"The script," answered Axel. "This'll tell us what to do next."

"Lemme see that."

Zexion snatched it away from Axel.

"It says here that while talking about what to do next, approximately 5 seconds after I take the script from you, we run into Saïx because we aren't paying attent-…"

Suddenly they both ran into something that was too light to be a wall. Poor Saïx was crushed under them, frantically trying to push them off.

"My delicate elf lungs need oxygen!" he screamed. "Get offa me!"

"I didn't know I weighed that much," said Axel, pushing himself up.

"Shut up, Axel," said Zexion. "Sorry, Saïx."

They both got up.

"It's okay," said Saïx. "I was trying to find you guys anyway. Where were you?"

"Arcade," they both chorused.

"Oh. I thought you two were in the bathroom."

"For forty minutes?" asked Axel.

"Well, we _did _have beans 'n taters last night for dinner," said Saïx. "And you two did take quite a hefty helping."

Axel and Zexion turned their heads and looked at each other.

"Well, yeah, but forty minutes?" asked Zexion. "That's a bit much for beans 'n taters. Maybe if we had Mexican food…"

"This conversation is really going nowhere," said Axel, eyeing Saïx oddly.

"Um, yeah," said Saïx. "So anyways, let's round up the others and go to the ice rink."

"Why would we be going to the ice rink?" asked Zexion.

"Because we're going to have a skate-off of course!"

"S-s-s-skate off?" asked Axel nervously.

"Oh c'mon," said Saïx. "It'll be a lot more fun than it sounds."

"But it'll be cold…"

"The spirits of the moon command you to do it."

Saïx was staring so intensely at Axel that Axel swore he had laser vision.

"Well, if the moon spirits command it, then I must do it!" said Axel extremely sarcastically.

Saïx glared at him more. Zexion swore he saw Anorexia Man flinch.

"Fine! I'll do it!" yelled Axel. "Just don't stare at me like that ever again!"

"I won't," said Saïx. "But don't think that I don't have other ways to torture you."

"Yeah? Like What?"

Saïx reached slowly into his pocket and pulled out six small pins.

"Oh my god!" yelled Axel, ducking behind Zexion. "Anything but that!"

"What?" asked Zexion. "I don't get it."

"Okay, just forget I asked you that, Saïx," said Axel, crouching down further behind Zexion.

Saïx quirked a blue eyebrow and put the pins away.

"Is helping Marluxia sew a pink sweater that torturous?" he asked. "I just got some needles to help him."

"Oh," said Axel. "I thought you meant that…other thing."

"What other thing?"

"You know…the thing with my eye."

"Oh…yeah."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Mmmmhmmm."

"Yep."

"Alrighty then."

"What the heck is going on?" asked Zexion.

"Nothing," said Axel and Saïx simultaneously.

"Alright, whatever."

"So…um…what do we do now?" asked Axel.

"We round everybody up and have a skate-off!" said Saïx with more enthusiasm than was needed.

"Okaaaaaaaaay then," said Zexion.

"Let's go!" yelled Saïx, jumping up.

"Yay," said Zexion in the most bored tone he could muster.

They all set off to find the others.

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Demyx was sitting at his table with his feet propped up with Luxord staring at him blankly.

"How can you eat all of that and not get fat?" asked Luxord.

"I'm a teenager, that's why," said Demyx. "Teenagers can do anything!"

"Yeah, but that was a lot of food. I bet you that you can't eat twice that much right now."

"You're on! What do I get if I win?"

Luxord thought for a moment.

"Whoever loses the bet gets dishwashing duty for a week," he said.

"Alrighty then," said Demyx. "Just sit back and watch the master do his work."

Demyx walked over to the counter and rang the bell…over and over again.

"Cashier lady-I mean Katie! I need more food!"

The girl with the dorky glasses walked up to the counter.

"You can really stop ringing that bell," said Katie, taking the poor defenseless bell from under Demyx's hand and chucking it into the deep fat fryer, nearly making Demyx flip out.

"THE BELL!" he yelled. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

"It wasn't worthy," she answered simply. "Now may I take your order?"

"Uh, yeah. I'll take two of everything I had last time, please."

Katie glared at him.

"What exactly was it that you ordered last time?" she asked.

"Uh…well…"

"There you are!" yelled a voice behind him. Demyx whirled around and saw Roxas standing there. "I had a feeling I'd find you here."

He walked over to Demyx and slung his arm around his shoulder.

"There's more of you?" asked Katie, looking scared.

"Yep," said Roxas. "There are thirteen of us in all."

"Oh," said Katie. "So are you all this annoying, or what?"

"Nope. It's basically just me," said Demyx with his head held up high.

"Great," said Roxas. "Now let's go."

"Where are we going?" asked Mullet Man. "And where's Luxord?"

"Luxord's already at the rink. Now come with me so we won't be late for the skate-off!"

"What! But I'm hungry! I don't want to go to the skate-off!"

"C'mon. We're going."

Demyx attempted his best puppy dog pout. However, Roxas remained as unmoving as a rock.

"Don't make me mess up your hair," said Roxas, shaking his pointer finger.

"Yes sir…"

And so everybody eventually got to the rink and mass chaos followed…

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Well, that's it. In case you got confused about that Saïx torturing Axel part, read push pin doll by Absinthian and you'll get it.

Please review if you have any sympathy for Demyx's almost ruined perfect hair of mulletness.


	6. Vexens Evil Idea, Attack of the Fangirls

Hi there everybody. You have my permission to yell at me for being so slow at updating. I'm very angry at myself for not updating in the range of at least one to three weeks. It's been a month, and I'm really sorry.

Also, I apologize for this chapter being really short. For all the time it has taken, I'm sure you would think it would be longer.

Prepare for mass mayhem.

:3

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Chapter Six: Vexen's Evil Idea, Attack of the Fangirls

_(A while back)_

Vexen was using up his precious MP to mend the huge rift in the ice. He was always the one that had to do everything. The ice was almost fixed now, and Vexen was thinking about what a waste of his precious MP this was. But at least he wasn't like Sora in KH2, with the MP system that works like an AOL dialup bar. He leaned against the outside of the ice rink and suddenly spotted a book laying down on a table. It looked neglected and Vexen couldn't help but sympathize for it.

"Who would leave a poor book unattended like that?" he asked aloud for no particular reason.

He left the ice without even a thought for mending it. After all, it was mended enough already. He walked over to the table and picked up the poor, neglected book which titled: 101 Figure Skating Moves for Dummies. Taking only a slight interest, he opened up the book to some random page and started reading.

"Oh wow," said Vexen with an evil grin. "That's good. That's reeeeeally gooooooood…"

Any onlooker would think he was crazy because he started laughing his evil clown laugh while nearly cross-eyed.

"Mwehehehehehehehehehehehehe!" he laughed evilly. "I've got to tell someone about this!"

He ran (as fast as a brittle old man could) back onto the ice, filled in the remainder of the crack with ice, and teleported to the figure skating rink with the book in his hand. It would be a sad day for a certain pyro….

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_(At the figure skating rink)_

Marly was skating around the rink, spinning around and jumping in the air. Suddenly Vexen appeared and stopped him, causing the pink loving flowerboy to scream like a little girl.

"Oh…my…GOD!" he screamed. "Don't scare me like that, Vexen."

"Oh shut up," said Vexen, pulling out the small figure skating book. "Just tell me what you think about this."

Marluxia grabbed the book from Vexen and stared at it inquisitively.

"Um….what am I supposed to do with this?" he asked.

"You read it, idiot."

Marly showed a sign of understanding and read the page that Vexen had opened up for him. His eyes narrowed and his lips scrunched up, as if he were holding back a laugh. All of a sudden he fell over and started laughing hysterically.

"That's (laugh) so (laugh) funny!" he blurted out.

"I know," said Vexen. "And I've got the perfect plan."

Vexen leaned over and whispered something into Marly's ear, making the pink-loving, self-centered, sissy little flowerboy smile evilly and squeal with delight.

"Oh that's gooooooood…," Marluxia trailed off. "Now Axel will pay for burning my beautiful rose garden to a crisp!"

Both started laughing maniacally and the person at the ice skate rental counter (a.k.a. Christine) was sitting there looking at them, wondering why the heck the insane asylum staff hadn't caught these guys yet. Now back to present times…..

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_(Present times)_

"well, now that everyone's here except for Vexen and Marluxia, we have to go look for Vexen and Marluxia," said Xemnas. "Let's split up into the same groups as we were in on the way here."

"Okay," chorused everyone, except for Lexaeus, who was dancing around like a little girl.

"What are you doing, Lexaeus?" asked Saïx, who was extremely worn out from trying to get Axel and Zexion away from the arcade.

"Lexaeus are having to go potty!" he said, still dancing. "Lexaeus need buddy to go to potty room!"

"Lexaeus, you don't need a buddy to go to the bathroom," said Xemnas nonchalantly.

"But Lexaeus are might getting lost!"

Xemnas bent his head down and sighed. 'Why did he pick Lexaeus (of all people...er...nobodies) to be in _his _splendid Organization?'

"Because he's strong and he used to be one of your main assistants," answered Zexion.

"Stop reading my mind, Zexion!" yelled Xemnas angrily.

"Sorry sir," said Zexion.

"So anyway, Xaldin, please go with Lexaeus to the 'potty room'."

"Why me?" asked Xaldin.

"Because you have no fangirls, everybody hates you because you're way too good at fighting, and whoever did your voiceover sucks."

"But I don't get to choose who does my voiceover!"

"I don't care. Lexaeus needs a buddy," said Xemnas. "Now go before I uninvited you to the evil pancake breakfast next Tuesday."

"No! Anything but that! I'll go!"

"Good. And make sure you both come back with all of your limbs still attached."

"Yes sir."

Xaldin walked off with Lexaeus to the bathroom. All of a sudden Zexion started sniffing the air.

"Zexion, what are you doing?" asked Roxas.

"I don't know. But something smells weird."

"Oops," said Xigbar. "My bad. I forgot to take a shower this morning."

Everybody simultaneously stepped away from Xigbar.

"No, it's not that," said Zexion. "It smells like something dangerous."

"Dangerous?" asked Axel.

"Yes, that's exactly what I just said," said Zexion. "Oh, and by the way everyone, Xemnas just farted. It smells like crap."

Everyone stepped even further away from Xemnas than they had stepped away from Xigbar. The Superior's face turned red.

"What?" he said. "We had beans and taters last night for dinner!"

"Bloody hell, Xemnas!" yelled Luxord. "Couldn't you hold that bloody fart in? It's nasty, ol' chap!"

"Ew!" yelled Demyx. "I think my nose is gonna fall off!"

"Oh c'mon!" said Xemnas. "It isn't that bad!"

"At least you don't have a smeller like mine," said Zexion. "I'd bet that every one of you would pass out if you had my nose."

"Did someone say 'bet'!" asked Luxord excitedly.

"No," said Zexion. "It was all an illusion."

"Oh darnit!"

"Wait a second!" yelled Zexion. "I can smell distinctly what it is now!"

"What?" asked everybody.

"I hate to say this, but…fangirls. There's a herd of them stampeding this way!"

"I thought we lost them!" yelled poor Demyx, who was now running around in circles. "What are we gonna do!"

"I'll tell you what we're going to do!" said Axel. "Run for your pointless, pathetic lives!"

And so they did. Well, except for Larxene and Marluxia because Larxene only has fanboys and so does Marluxia. And yes, Xigbar _does _have fangirls. And so does Xaldin, but not really.

Immediately after they all started running, thousands of bloodthirsty fangirls flooded intot he ice skating center, sensing out any poor, defenseless, male unknown with their mysterious fangirl powers. Our poor protagonists were being trampled over by the vile creatures, fighting over a piece of hair they pulled out from their delicate heads or trying to yank one of their boots off for a lovely addition to one of their shrines. This horrible massacre lasted for only ten minutes, but our heroes suffered nonetheless. Our unfortunate Axel lost his boot. Poor him. Once the evil fangirls had gone (with half of their precious belongings), everybody gathered in the figure skating rink area once more.

"Is everybody in one piece?" asked Xemnas, whose hair was now screwed up and he was missing a glove.

"I am!" yelled Demyx. "But someone messed…up…my…HAIR! It's not cool!"

Demyx curled up into a little ball and began to weep for his poor mullet.

"You know, someone should make an anti-fangirl repellant spray," said Roxas. "It would save millions of lives."

"Yeah, and I bet it would smell like Marluxia," said Axel mischievously.

The group watched in horror as a girly pink scythe just barely missed Axel's head as it was thrown at him by Marluxia.

"Well, SOMEBODY has anger management issues," said Axel over to Marluxia.

"Look who's talking," replied Marly evilly.

"Why you little-!"

Axel and Marluxia started beating each other up and Roxas started laughing hysterically. The other members of the group had no idea why Roxas was doing this, so they did it too. After about five minutes of watching Axel and Marly beat each other up, they got tired of laughing and Saïx went in-between the two to try and stop the evil violence.

"Peace, brethren," he said to both of them.

"English please," asked Marly.

Saïx glared at Marly and sighed.

"It means stop it," he answered slowly.

"Gotcha."

"Alright," said Xemnas. "Now that that is over, everybody may go to the restroom to redo their hair before the skate-off. But I'm only giving you five minutes."

"I can't do my hair in only five minutes!" complained Demyx.

"I don't care. Five minutes is all that you get."

"Fine."

So everyone went to the bathroom and restyled their hair for the skate-off. Afterwards, they all went to the ice skate rental counter to get some skates. Little did they know what evil things would happen next….

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Yep, that's my really short chapter that took me forever to update. I hope you enjoy it. And yes, like I said before, you may scold and yell at me all you want for being so slow. As long as you review, I don't care.

.wink.


	7. Its finally the Skateoff!

Sorry that I've been stalling the skate-off. This chapter I'm positive that there will be one. And again I am sorry for taking so long for updating (or not updating, whatever you want to call it). Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I ain't got nuthin'.

Warnings: Well, sadly, I'm going to have to say that this chapter has mentionings of yaoi. So pretty much the parts with Marly are going to be like that. But other than that, please enjoy.

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Chapter Seven: The Skate Off

"Are you sure you don't want me to teach you how to ice skate, Axel?"

"No, Marluxia, I'm fine. It's just like rollerblading."

"It's your funeral."

Marluxia winked at him and skated off, showing off his moves by doing a twirl in the air. Vexen had put on his skates and skated over to him.

"Is the plan a go?" he whispered into Marly's ear.

"All systems are a go, cap'n!" replied Marluxia. Vexen just stared at him with a weird glare.

"What?" asked Marly. "I've always wanted to be a pirate!"

"No, Marluxia. You've always wanted to be the pink Power Ranger."

"Oh yeeeeeeaahhh…."

**MEANWHILE!**

Saïx and Xemnas were standing at the ice skate rental counter, waiting for their skates to be delivered.

"Could this person take any longer?" asked Xemnas to himself.

"Yes," answered Saïx.

"Um, Saïx, that was a rhetorical question."

"Ah."

There was a moment of silence.

"You know what, Xemnas?"

Xemnas turned and looked at him.

"What, Saïx?"

"You're old name kinda sounds like a French guy saying 'The Snort'."

"What? You mean Xehanort?"

"Yeah. It's like a French guy is saying 'Ze Shnort', you know, in a really thick accent with his nose stuck up and everything."

"Gee, thanks! You know what your name sounds like!"

"What?"

"I don't want to say it in public."

"Why not?"

"Because it's crude and unnecessary."

"Well, that's our job, isn't it?"

"What?"

"To be crude and unnecessary!"

"No, no. Our job is to be rude and act like jerks."

"Hmmmmm…..I could've sworn it was the other one."

"Hey!" yelled a voice from behind them. "Are you two idiots going to take these skates or what?"

They both turned around and saw Christine standing there with two pairs of skates in hand. Xemnas took his and sat down to put them on. Saïx just stood there.

"Um, hello?" asked Christine, waving the skates in front of him. "Do….you….want….these?"

"Oh, yeah," he answered. "Um, look, I have to ask you one question."

"It'd better be quick."

"Um, what does my name sound like to you?"

"Well, it would really help if I knew your name."

"Oh. It's Saïx."

She immediately began cracking up.

"You're (laugh) serious (laugh) right!" she laughed out.

"What's so funny?"

"What it sounds like, of course!"

"Well, what does it sound like?"

"I'm not telling!"

"Fine! I'll find out myself!"

He took the skates angrily and sat down next to Xemnas.

"Will you tell me?" he asked.

"Nope. Find out yourself."

Saïx gave the pouty lip to Xemnas and started putting on his skates.

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_(About 30 Minutes Later)_

Every member of the Organization was gathered around the entrance of the ice rink. Xemnas was standing at the very front, trying to get all of them to be quiet.

"Pay attention!" he yelled over the large mass of 12 people. They immediately obeyed. "Now I want to introduce our four judges and two referees."

Six people walked up to the front of the crowd.

"Alright. First we have the judges. The first judge is Alexis."

The girl named Alexis stepped forward. She had brown and black curly hair with red highlights. She was wearing a shirt that said "Time Stops for No Man Unless He Casts Stop."

"HI ROXAAAS!" she screamed. Roxas made a mental note to run away from her in fear, which he did.

"Okay then," said Xemnas. "The next one is Katraeya."

A girl with silver hair and crimson eyes stepped forward. She looked about 17.

"Hi Axel!" she said with a wink.

"How does she know my name?" asked a confused Axel.

"Fangirl," everyone chorused.

"Oh."

"The next two are the kid from the snack bar and…."

"The name's Katie, punk!" said the kid with dorky glasses from the snack bar.

"Right. The next two are _Katie _and the girl at the ice skate rental counter that annoys everyone to death because she always demands a tip for doing a crappy job, Christine."

Immediately Xemnas got pelted with the tip jar.

"I bet you losers couldn't do better," she said. "Anyway, $4.50 an hour isn't really much to get you _into _your job."

"Oh yeah? Well we get $5.00 an hour!" shouted Demyx proudly. "Beat that!"

"Would everybody just shut up for a second or five?" asked Zexion in a very emo way.

"Party pooper…..," muttered Luxord.

"I heard that, punk!" yelled Zexion angrily.

"Ooooooh! What are you gonna bloody do? Sniff me to death?"

"Why you little-!"

Zexion ran and tackled the poor, pathetic, Luxord, who is now screaming in pain in British.

"BLOODY HELL!" yelled Luxord. "ARE YOU OFF YOUR TROLLEY, MATE! GET OFFA ME YA DAFT NUTTER!"

"Okay, what did he just say?" whispered Xigbar to Xaldin.

"I don't know," answered Xaldin. "I think he just said something about a car eating Planters Peanuts."

"That makes no sense whatsoever."

"I know. I don't speak "English" English. You know, like Austin Powers or the Beatles."

Xigbar looked at Xaldin with a weird glare.

"What the heck is wrong with you, man?" he asked. Xaldin shrugged his shoulders.

After Zexion had totally beaten the crap out of Luxord, everything became quiet so Xemnas could continue introducing everybody.

"Alright, Zexion, you just lost your cake day privileges!" shouted Xemnas.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled emo man angrily. "That's not fair!"

"I know," said Xemnas with a smirk. "Now let me introduce the referees. The first is named Chanelle."

"OHMYGODHIDEME!" yelled Saïx, dodging behind Vexen, who was now somehow confused.

The blonde haired girl stepped forward, dressed in a referee's shirt. She immediately scanned the crowd and spotted Saïx.

"I'm watching you, punk," she said, staring into his skull.

"AAAAHHH! SCARY LADY!" yelled Saïx, crouching down lower.

"Oh get over it," muttered Xemnas. "Now I'll introduce our second ref, Amanda."

"OHMYGODHIDEUS!" chorused Zexion and Axel, dodging behind Marluxia, who was smiling because he liked them so close….

"Pervert!" whispered Zexion behind him. After all, Zexion _could_ read minds.

"You know, it's not like I can't see you idiots," said Amanda in a boring, flat tone. "Pinky here is about as skinny as a pole."

"Hey!" yelled Marluxia. "I watch my figure very closely! I'm not that skinny!"

"Mmmmmhmmmm. Well, if it makes you happy, I'll call you Fatty."

"SHUT UP YOU…YOU….NOT…FLOWER-LOVING PERSON!" yelled Marluxia, obviously offended. "Find a happy, pink, flower-filled place; find a happy, pink, flower-filled place…."

While Marly was muttering to himself, Amanda gave Axel and Zexion the "I'm watching you like a hawk and if you screw up anything prepare to be humiliated and/or mauled" look. They got the drift.

"Now that I'm done doing pointless introductions, let the skate off begin!" yelled Xemnas, opening the door to the ice rink, letting the judges and referees go in first. Then everybody else filed in except for Axel because he's just afraid of anything ice related. Marly, who had gotten onto the ice immediately after the refs and judges, skated over to Axel in hopes of getting him on the ice.

"I thought you said you could skate," he said, twirling a strand of pink hair as he said it.

"I know," answered Axel. "I'm just not in the mood right now…."

"Oh c'mon! You can't not be in the mood for ice skating! Plus if you don't go on the ice right now, you won't be able to compete in the skate off!"

"Oh noooooo!" said Axel as sarcastically as he could.

"C'mon Axel! Even Zexion is on the ice! And that's just, like, a miracle. I'll even show you how to skate!"

"No thaaaanks."

"Fine. I guess I'll have to resort to drastic measures."

Axel's eyes widened and he stared at Marluxia with one eyebrow quirked.

"What exactly are you going to do?" he asked.

"Come here," said Marly with a malicious grin.

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"That's not a very good reason."

"Just come here, dammit!"

"Fine, Mr. Grumpypants."

Axel walked over to Marluxia, still confused about what he was going to do.

"Come closer…," he purred.

Still confused, he moved closer.

"Lean your head closer."

Axel did. All of a sudden Marluxia leaned in too, and grabbed Axel's nose.

"GOT YOUR NOSE! Now you'll have to follow me onto the ice and get it!" screamed Marluxia like a little girl.

"Give me my nose back, you twit!" yelled Axel angrily.

Marluxia jumped onto the ice and ran off with Axel's 'nose'. Axel ran as fast as he could behind him, which wasn't really that fast because he had thin little figure skates on. He stopped a moment before getting onto the ice, but finally gathered up enough courage to step on. Of course, he immediately fell down, but you still gotta be proud of the little guy for being so brave.

So anyway, after about ten minutes of chasing and falling, Chanelle and Amanda skated to the middle of the rink and blew their whistles as loud as they could at the same time, which meant that it really hurt your ears. Everybody fell silent as Chanelle started to speak.

"I'm going to quickly go over the rules," she stated. "First of all: no violence. So that means no kicking, punching, mauling, maiming, **cracking the ice open with a humungous sword…**"

She looked directly at Saïx when she said this. Saïx hid himself behind Xemnas immediately.

"….setting people on fire, attacking people when they aren't looking, tripping people with your ice skates, throwing ice skates at people, etc. Second rule: No stealing of people's noses."

Marluxia quickly handed Axel's 'nose' back.

"Yay!" said Axel happily.

"You know that isn't real, right mate?" said Luxord.

"Does it look like I care?"

"Yes."

They both heard Chanelle stop talking.

"Third rule: No talking when a referee or a judge is talking," she said, gazing directly at them. "It's just like school."

"What are school?" asked Lexaeus.

"It's obviously a place where you've never been," said Amanda to herself.

"Lexaeus understand now."

"You do?" asked Xaldin.

"Lexaeus wonders what person with dreadlocks name is."

"I don't have dreadlocks," said Xaldin angrily. "My hair is just really long. And my name is Xaldin."

"Hairpin?"

"Xaldin."

"Balding?"

"XALDIN."

"Antidisestablishmentarianism?"

"XALDINNNN!"

"Folding?"

"You're hopeless!"

It was then that he realized Chanelle and Amanda were staring at them in a very evil way.

"Are you done?" asked Amanda.

"Yes'm," replied Xaldin.

"Good," said Amanda. "Now I'll go over the three sections of the skate off with you. The first is a relay. All thirteen of you will skate at once and whoever finishes three laps the fastest wins. The second is a trick show. Whoever has the best tricks, jumps, etc. will win."

They all heard a "Yay!" from Marluxia in the crowd.

Amanda cleared her throat and started talking once more.

"The last section of the skate off is still undecided, but our judges will come up with something by the time the first two are over."

"The first competition will begin in about five minutes. Use that time to get ready," added Chanelle.

The two refs skated off and the whole Organization started prepping for the first competition.

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Well, I know that chapter wasn't as funny as it should be, but I really did try my best. I just had to go over what was going on in the next three chapters with you first.

And guess what? You - yes you- get to pick what the third challenge is because I'm totally clueless! If you have any bright ideas, tell me in your review or leave me a message.

Reivew pleez!

gigglesnort!


	8. Speed Round

WEEEEEEEE! Chapter eight time!

By the way, there's pretty much a unanimous vote that I should do partner skating as the third round. I've already got some of the pairings thought of, but if you have any requests that would be great.

Warning: Extreme insanity may ensue.

Disclaimer: I ain't got nuthin'.

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Chapter Eight: Speed Round

Chanelle and Amanda skated to the center of the rink. All thirteen members of the Organization were lined up in front of them, ready to skate. Of course, Axel and Zexion were falling down already and everyone was getting really pissed off at them because they were holding the whole group up.

"WOULD YOU RETARDS GET ON YOUR FEET?" yelled Amanda angrily.

"Y-yes, m'am," they both chorused.

Zexion and Axel both skidded a little bit more on the ice and eventually got help from really good skaters such as Marluxia and Vexen.

"Now, I'll explain the rules for this round," said Chanelle. "At the end of this rink, there are two flags on either side of a red line. That line is the finish line. You will have to skate three times around the rink inside the cones at all times. Whoever crosses that line first wins. Any questions?"

Lexaeus are having a question!" piped up Lexaeus.

"Yes?"

"What are Lexaeus supposed to do again?"

Chanelle turned red with anger at that very moment.

"LISTEN TO ME YOU SNIVELING, DISGUSTING MAGGOT THAT I HAVE HAD THE DISPLEASURE OF EVER LAYING MY EYES ON!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. "Listen to me when I explain the rules next time, please."

"Lexaeus need new panties now."

"Ok, now that we have that settled, let's begin the race," said Amanda.

Both judges pulled a green flag out of their pocket and held them high up in the air. All of the contestants crouched down and got ready to skate as fast as they could.

"GO!" they both shouted, bringing the flags down with a swift "swoosh".

Immediately everybody started skating as fast as they could. The judges on the sidelines watched with anticipation. Axel had already fallen down, taking Zexion with him. Marluxia and Saïx were at the front, racing neck and neck. Behind them were Vexen, Demyx, Larxene, Roxas, Luxord, Xigbar, Xaldin, Xemnas, and Lexaeus in that order. After completing the first lap, Lexaeus had tripped over Axel because he was still lying in the middle of the place after falling down. Lexaeus then fell to the ground, therefore being disqualified.

Saïx and Marluxia were still racing neck and neck on the second lap and Saïx finally decided that he wanted to win. So he picked Marly up and threw him out of the rink (you know how Saïx is, he doesn't really think when he's angry). Suddenly Chanelle raced up to him and shot him with a tazer gun.

"YOU ARE DISQUALIFIED!" she yelled angrily. Our poor elfy friend was disabled on the ground, screaming in pain. Chanelle smiled evilly.

Meanwhile, while the race was still going on, Amanda had to watch the racers because Chanelle was having way too much fun shocking the Luna Diviner to death. Vexen was in the lead now with Larxene following shortly behind. Xigbar had tripped over Lexaeus's fat body and was now out of the race. Somehow, Demyx had gotten left behind a little, but he wasn't the last person. Xaldin was panting heavily and finally decided that if he ran into a wall, he wouldn't have to skate so hard anymore. So he did.

It was now the third lap. Everybody left used the last of their adrenaline reserves to get into the lead. Roxas was now in the lead with Xemnas behind him. Larxene was out now because Zexion was being a meanie and grabbed her leg as she skated by him. After that, Larxene fried his brains into oblivion. Saïx was now able to move because Chanelle had gotten bored with torturing him and had gone back to watching the race. Saïx, with his newly acquired powers of mobility, jumped up from the ground and tackled Xemnas as he skated past him.

Now only Roxas, Vexen, Demyx, and Luxord were left. They were halfway done when an anti-Vexen fangirl threw a marshmallow at Vexen's back and broke it.

"OWWW!" yelled the old geezer. "MY POOR COCCYGEAL DORSAL VERTEBRAE!"

Demyx was now in the lead with Roxas and Luxord directly behind him. And because we all know Demyx is an idiot, when Vexen screamed out scientific words, he paid too much attention to what Vexen said and fell over, making Roxas and Luxord trip over him as he did so. Of course, this was only about an inch away from the finish line. Roxas and Luxord were piled up on top of Demyx as poor mullet man was nearly suffocating. Slowly, he stretched his neck out as far as it could go and smiled as the very top of his mullet went over the red line.

Amanda and Chanelle skated over to the judges' table and muttered amongst them, deciding what to do. All of a sudden, Amanda shouted their final decision.

"AND THE WINNER IS…..DEMYX!" she yelled.

"WHAT!" yelled everyone in the Organization angrily.

"He went over the line, you nimrods," explained Chanelle, skating over to the finish line. Helping him up, she put a gold medal around his neck. Demyx smiled his dopey smile and the judges clapped. Everyone in the Organization, however, was being a sore loser and didn't clap for him at all. Well, except for Zexion and Axel, because they understood that even if they wanted to they couldn't win a skating contest.

After everyone got off of the ice (unconscious and all), they gathered around the outside of the rink and took a break from the first round. Marluxia now officially hated Saïx for all an eternity and Vexen had to have about a million cure spells cast on him, because he's just old like that. Lexaeus kept trying to eat Demyx's newly acquired medal because he thought it was really shiny, and Marluxia was now venting off his inner hatred at Axel.

"I can't believe that stupid Saïx!" he yelled towards Axel. "I mean, what kind of selfish prick would be so mean as to throw a fellow competitor across the room!"

"Um….Saïx would," answered Axel.

"Axel?"

"Yes?"

"That was a rhetorical question."

"Right."

"Yep."

"Okaaaaaay then."

"Alrighty."

"Would you two cut that out and get over here!" yelled Xemnas from the giant mass of Organization XIII members.

"Yes sir!" they both chorused.

The both ran over to them and squeezed into the giant huddle.

"Alright," said Xemnas. "Saïx and I have agreed that the refs are evil."

"That's great," said Zexion sarcastically.

"Is there a reason we should care?" asked Roxas.

"YES!" answered Saïx angrily. "If you would let Xemnas finish what he was saying, you would understand why you should care."

Marluxia glared at Saïx with much hatred in his eyes. Saïx returned it.

"So, as I was saying," continued Xemnas. "We have both agreed to brutally slaughter them both by the time of the third round."

"What!" yelled half of the members.

"You know we would get in a lot of trouble for that, man," said Xigbar.

"Yeah, you can't just go around and maim people whenever you want," said Demyx.

"Whatever," said Zexion. "It's not like I could kill anybody anyway. I wish you jerks would all leave me alone."

"You're so emo," said Marluxia.

"I know."

"A-**HEM!**" interrupted Xemnas. "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to get back onto the subject of slaughtering the refs."

"Why don't we just find a really embarrassing moment for them and take pictures of it to use for blackmail when we post it on the internet?" asked Luxord.

Everybody looked over at Luxord.

And Luxord looked back.

And they looked at him again.

"That sounds good," said Xemnas. "All in favor say 'I'."

Everyone said 'I' except for Demyx, Marluxia, Xigbar, and Zexion.

"So I guess it's unanimous," said Xemnas.

"HEY, PUNKS!" yelled Amanda from afar.

They all turned around and looked at her.

And she looked at them.

And they looked at her again.

"The second round begins in ten minutes," she said.

"I've got that memorized," said Axel.

Everybody looked over at Axel.

And Axel looked back at them.

And everybody looked at Axel again.

"Okaaaaaaaay," said Amanda. "I think I'll be going now….."

She ran off in the direction of the skating rink. After that, the Orgy members spent their ten minutes off acting like total retards……

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Yeah, I really hope I didn't insult anybody with this chapter. If there are any Marluxia fans out there, you have my deepest apologies. But not really.

Pleez revoosa!

700k 4t m4! 1'm t41k1ng 71k3 4 n00b! YAY!


	9. Boredom on the Islands

Hey everybody! Sorry I was so late at updating. I was in Ohio and I didn't have anything to type with, so I really apologize for not doing that. Now first things first. I have a lot to say and I have lots of space to do it.

First of all…WOW! I now have over 200 reviews (a feat which I thought was not humanly possible for a story such as this), and I thank all of my fans that have supported me in this. Please continue your reviewing. It will be much appreciated. And to think I haven't gotten one flame yet…

Next, I need to know which judge you guys want to have skate with the Orgy members in the third round. Sadly, I don't have the heart to cripple/injure/decapitate an Orgy member. Well, I could do that to Lexaeus or Larxene, but I want to embarrass a judge sooner or later. So if you would be so kind as to tell me who you would like to skate with the Organization members, just say who in your review or PM me.

Next (again), for this chapter I'm going to start a kind of different plotline with Sora, Kairi, and Riku. Roxas and Naminé may be included too later in the plot, probably along with other important characters like Cloud and Leon. I'm just saying this right now because I don't want anyone to get mad at me for not having the Orgy people in this chapter. And as another kinda warning thing, this chapter won't be as funny as any of the others, so please don't sue me for anything.

And finally, I know this sounds stupid, but I am accepting fanart for the story. If you have anything you want me to show to people about the story, you may e-mail it to me via my profile. I don't even care if you suck at drawing, you may send me something. Yes, I AM CRAZY!

And now…..the moment you all are waiting for!

THE NINTH CHAPTER!

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Chapter Nine: Boredom on the Islands

_(Very far in the future)_

Sora, Riku and Kairi were on their island in the middle of the ocean, totally bored with nothing to do. Riku was lying down on the horizontal palm tree while daydreaming, Kairi was staring at a rock, and Sora was eating a humungous marshmallow. Why Sora was eating a humungous marshmallow, I have no idea. Anyway, all of them were bored and had been bored ever since Riku and Sora had returned to the islands. Sure, they both got a letter from the king saying that they had another mission, but they needed a rest. But now they were bored and had nothing to do.

The island remained silent for about ten more minutes until Kairi spoke up.

"I'm bored," she said.

Riku and Sora looked in her direction.

Kairi looked back.

Riku and Sora looked again.

Kairi kept looking.

Sora threw his marshmallow someplace and it disappeared into a portal. Then it was transported to Vexen's back which immediately broke it. That solves the mystery of where the back-breaking marshmallow came from.

Anyway, Riku finally got up from the palm tree and walked over to Kairi.

"What do you suppose we do, then?" he asked. "If you haven't noticed, we're out in the middle of nowhere and I doubt that there's anything fun we could possibly do around here. And, to top it all off, we have no way of getting to other worlds."

"We could play Parcheesi!" yelled Sora excitedly.

"Nah, we did that yesterday," said Riku.

"What about Clue?"

"Nope, we've done that already."

"Monopoly?"

"No."

"Scrabble?"

"No."

"Chutes and Ladders?"

"Boring."

"Backgammon? Cribbage? Blackjack? Rummy? Texas Hold 'Em? Spit? B.S.? Speed? Go Fish? Hearts? Craps? Crazy Eights? Old Maid? Slapjack? Baccarat? Blackout? Blitz? Flower and Scorpion? German Solo?"

No, but I must say that you are starting to sound like that weird guy named Luxord," commented Riku.

"Uhm, thanks I guess," answered Sora.

"You're welcome. Now anyway, I think we should go somewhere and do something."

"Like what?" asked Kairi. "There's nothing here but that weird jalopy sales place. We'd have to be able to teleport to get anywhere fun."

"What's a jalopy?" asked Sora. Somehow, his ginormous marshmallow had returned and he was munching away on it.

"Ugh, you are hopeless," muttered Riku under his breath.

Then, as if it were an answer to their prayers, a giant warp hole opened up and a cloaked person jumped out of it.

"Organization XIII!" yelled Sora and Riku simultaneously.

They both whipped out their weapons.

"Wrong," said the person. "I'm just the authoress here to screw everything up."

She took her hood off, revealing a girl's slightly tanned face with silery-blue hair, very dark navy eyes with black eyeliner outlining them, and ears that had 7 piercings on one ear and 6 on the other.

"Who art thou?" asked Riku.

"I art the authoress, WindOfDancingFlames," she answered.

"Wait a second," interrupted Kairi. "This isn't in the script!"

"Yes it is!" argued the authoress.

"No it isn't!"

"I wrote it, I should know!"

"Yes, but this whole scene isn't in here."

Kairi reached into her pocket and pulled out a thick stack of papers.

"See?" she said, pointing to a paragraph. "It's totally different right here."

"Lemme see that," said WindOfDancingFlames, snatching it away.

She read the few lines that Kairi had pointed out and immediately threw the script on the ground in anger.

"I didn't write this!"

"What does it say?" asked Riku.

"It says: 'Happy pink bunnies were frolicking through the meadows as Sora, Kairi, and Riku skipped along happily through the pretty pink tulips and roses and pansies. Then all of a sudden a giant but cuddly pink Furby pops up out of nowhere and snatches them and throws them into a completely different dimension, making them end up in a random ice skating rink in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin! End Scene.'"

"AHHH! FURBY! MUST…HIDE!" Sora screamed.

Sora ran like a chicken with its head cut off----straight off the island and into the water.

"What a loser," muttered WindOfDancingFlames to herself.

Two seconds later Sora popped back up onto the island with a stupid grin on his face, totally dry.

"Whoa!" said Riku. "How did you do that?"

"Oh, that was my stunt double," answered Sora.

Riku's brow furrowed and he looked at Sora.

"You mean you don't do your own stunts?" he asked.

"I like pie!" yelled Sora, pulling out a random apple pie from his pocket and shoving it in his face.

"I am surrounded by idiots!" yelled Riku angrily.

"So anyway," said WindOfDancingFlames. "Did one of you retards rewrite the script to make me look bad?"

"Nope," they all chorused.

"I'm going to burn this thing," the authoress announced.

"Wait!" said Sora. "Then what will we do when we forget our lines?"

"You ask someone else!" answered Kairi ecstatically.

"Yeah, you could do that," said Riku. "You know, now that I think about it, I think I see a pink hair hanging from the front of the book."

WindOfDancingFlames looked at the front of the book and glared at the long pink hair that was hanging from it.

"I should've known, with all that pink!" she yelled angrily. "C'mon, you guys are coming with me!"

"Where are we going?" asked Sora, who was now munching on a Pop Tart.

"You are going to help me beat up Marluxia, of course," she answered.

The three of them looked at each other.

"It'll give us something to do," Riku sighed.

"Yeah, let's go!" exclaimed Kairi.

"Chicken!" squeaked Sora, starting to eat a chicken that had magically appeared in his hands.

"Alright, hold on," said WindOfDancingFlames.

She summoned a mega portal around all of them and transported them to the same rink where the Organization was…

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Alright, just to let all of you people know, that chapter was not really meant to be funny. It's more like an introduction thing, y'know?

So, if you haven't read the junk I said at the top, please do so and if you already have, that's awesome.

See you next chapter…

Mwahaha.


	10. Before the Talent Round

Sorry it's been such a long time since I've updated everybody. Lately I haven't had any good ideas for chapters, which explains what the last chapter was all about. Again, I apologize for that. I know it wasn't very funny, but I do appreciate that you guys said good stuff about it anyway.

So, I guess I should continue on with this chapter.

Try to enjoy!

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Chapter Ten: Before the Talent Round

Axel looked around everywhere, trying to find Marluxia. He had finally decided that he needed major help in the field of ice skating tricks, so who better to ask than the Sugarplum fairy himself?

He walked over to the long hall that led down to the arcade, all of a sudden noticing that something was clinging onto his leg. He looked down and saw none other than Roxas hanging onto his innocent foot with a death grip. He picked up his skinny leg and shook it in a feeble attempt to shake Roxas off.

"What is the matter with you?" he asked, grabbing Roxas's fingers and peeling them off of his leg.

"Axel, you've gotta help me!" he yelled desperately.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Axel, helping Roxas up with a hand. "I've got plans of my own already, which I'm already late for, but…"

"No, you don't understand! This is a matter of life and death! If you don't help me I could get killed or maimed or something bad like that!"

Axel bent his head down and sighed.

"What exactly is it that you want?" he asked.

"Look what I found in my pocket!"

He pulled out a little mechanism that had a beeping red dot on it.

"It's a bomb?" Axel asked.

"No, it's worse," Roxas answered.

Axel couldn't think of anything worse that that beeping device could be.

"When all of those fangirls stampeded in through here they managed to get this into my jacket pocket," continued Roxas. "It's a GPS tracking device."

Now Axel understood perfectly.

"I don't know what I could possibly do to help you," he said.

"Then I'll tell you," said Roxas. "I need you to wear it."

"What!" yelled Axel. "So you want to kill me to try and save YOUR life?"

"Don't put it like that, Axel. Just think of it as a favor between friends."

"Why don't you just destroy it?"

"Because it's INDESTRUCTABLE!"

Ooooh…burn."

"Please! Could you at least hide me?"

Axel gave Roxas a disapproving glare.

"No can do, buddy. You see, nobody is even capable of hiding behind me."

"And why is that?" asked Roxas.

"I have a special 'condition'. Allow me to demonstrate."

Axel turned ninety degrees and immediately disappeared.

"Oh my god!" yelled Roxas. "I had no idea you were so skinny."

Axel turned so he was facing Roxas again.

"I know. And that is why I can't hide you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with Marluxia."

Axel started to walk away, but Roxas grabbed his arm and stopped him from leaving.

"I have an idea," he said. "But you might have to go to extreme measures to execute it."

"Okay," Axel gulped. He still didn't know why he was going through with this.

**MEANWHILE!**

Saïx skated over to Xemnas, looking very suspicious as he skated across the ice with an ice pick in his hand. He had just made a huge hole where the judges' stand was. He quickly sent it through a portal to Argentina (Why, you may ask? I have no idea) and stopped near Xemnas's side.

"Is it done?" asked Xemnas.

"Yes it is," he answered. "I just have one question."

"Fire away."

All of a sudden Xigbar popped out of nowhere and got really excited.

"DID SOMEONE SAY 'FIRE AWAY'!" he screamed like a little girl.

"No. You're just delusional," answered Xemnas. "Now go and practice for the tournament!"

"Aw, poopy," he said, disappearing immediately.

"That was random," said Saïx.

"It's not the east or the west side," said Xemnas.

"No it's not," commented Saïx.

"It's not the north or the south side."

"No it's not."

"It's the dark side!"

"You are correct!"

All of a sudden Xaldin appeared out of nowhere.

"Now THAT was random!" he yelled.

Xaldin tripped and then got up.

"Go practice!" yelled Xemnas.

"Aye, aye, cap'n!" saluted Xaldin.

And then he disappeared. Saïx and Xemnas remained silent for a while.

"Does anyone know why we just broke out into a cheesy song?" asked Saïx. "And why Xaldin tripped and then got up so fast?"

"I don't know," said Xemnas. "It happened right after you said, "That was random."

All of a sudden Saïx did a backflip.

"Whoa!" yelled Xemnas. "That was REALLY random!"

"Oh my god a flying chair!" said Saïx in a girly voice.

And now was the time for Xemnas to be confused.

"You know, I think whenever we say the word "random" something random happens."

All of a sudden a meteorite the size of a Chihuahua's head came crashing through the rink and landed on Lexaeus's head.

"LEXAEUS BRAIN HURT!" they heard from across the rink.

"Oooooh! Let me try! RANDOM!" yelled Saïx.

A rain of marshmallows came from a portal in the ceiling and broke every vertebrae in Vexen's back.

"Cool!" said Xemnas. "RANDOM!"

"Arf!" arfed Saïx.

"Hey Luxord, come over here!" yelled Xemnas.

Luxord skated over to them.

"Yes, mates?" he asked.

"RANDOM!" they both yelled.

Luxord disappeared and then reappeared wearing a purple dress and a frilly red hat with makeup on and everything. Saïx and Xemnas burst out laughing.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING AT!" yelled Luxord angrily.

"R - random!" yelled Saïx, nearly bursting out in tears.

Luxord was hit by a tip jar and fell over onto the ice. Both Xemnas and Saïx were nearly choking on laughter by now. Luxord was blushing a deep shade of red and soon got up off of the ice.

"Three can play this game!" he said. "RANDOM!"

"Crap…," said Saïx.

Saïx disappeared and reappeared wearing a Playboy costume, complete with a fluffy cotton tail and two fluffy ears.

"BLOODY HELL!" yelled Luxord. "I immediately regret doing that! Um, random!"

Xemnas was pelted with an ice skate.

"OWIE!" he yelled. "What was that for?"

"I was trying to get Saïx out of the Playboy costume!" yelled Luxord. "It's your own bloody fault that you mates started saying 'random'!"

A safe dropped on Saïx.

Xemnas looked around the rink and saw that nearly everyone was looking in their direction. As if things weren't bad enough, both Amanda and Chanelle skated over in their direction.

"What's going on here?" asked Chanelle.

"I don't know!" said Xemnas. "We started saying 'random' and then all of a sudden a whole bunch of random things happened!"

A bucket of lard flew through the air and landed on Chanelle's head. The now covered in lard Chanelle suddenly got very angry and proceeded to beat Xemnas up.

"Owie!" he yelled. "It's not my fault1 It's the evil word 'random'!"

Amanda fell through the ice.

"Make it stoooooooooooooop!" he yelled.

By now Amanda was angry too and lifted up the safe and started beating up on Saïx, despite the fact that he was in extreme pain because a ten ton safe had just landed on him.

Zexion skated over and stood by Luxord.

"What the hell happened here?" he asked. "And why are you dressed as a red hat lady? And why is Saïx wearing a Playboy costume?"

"Please, just don't ask," said Luxord. "It's good enough that Amanda and Chanelle aren't beating up on me."

"Well, geez. That was random."

A semi truck came into the rink and ran over Zexion.

"HOLY SHIZNIP!" yelled the now flattened Zexion.

About five minutes later everything was cleared up and the entire rink was back to normal. None of the Organization members ever dared saying the word "random" again.

**MEANWHILE AGAIN!**

Axel walked over to Marluxia, who he had just found at the snack bar.

"Um, yeah," said Marluxia, looking at the menu. "Do you have anything organic or vegetarian?"

Katie sighed and looked at Marluxia.

"We have avocado toast or some disgusting pasta salad that looks pre-barfed. Would you like to order, m'am?"

"That's sir, to you," he said, noticing Katie's surprised expression as he said this. "And I think I'll pass. Who in their right mind would eat pasta salad that looks pre-barfed?"

Katie glared holes into Marly's head. Marluxia just shrugged and turned around, surprised to see Axel standing there.

"Oh, hello Axel," he said. "How are you today?"

"Shut up, Marluxia," he said. "You know every day in my life sucks. Anyway, I've come here to make a proposition with you."

"Alright. What exactly is it that you want to make a deal with?"

Axel walked up to Marluxia and pulled out the beeping GPS mechanism.

"If you wear this for the rest of your life I'll let you do anything you want to me," Axel said, regretting this inside.

"What exactly is it?" asked Marly, smiling at the many fantasies that were running through his head at the moment.

Axel hesitated as he answered.

"It's an indestructible GPS device that rabid fangirls planted on Roxas."

Marluxia smiled. He was very lucky because he didn't have any fangirls. He only had fanboys. This was the perfect chance to finally do something with Axel he had always wanted to do.

"Of course," he said with a smirk.

He took the device and put it into his pocket. Axel suddenly regretted doing this.

"There's one more catch," he said. "You have to help me with some tricks for the talent round."

Marluxia couldn't have been happier.

"Absolutely," he said. "In fact, I'll be happy to start right now."

"Good," said Axel. "Let's go over to the…"

The intercom interrupted his sentence.

"ATTENTION ALL ORGANIZATION MEMBERS AND JUDGES!" it announced. "PLEASE GO TO THE SKATING RINK RIGHT NOW! THE SECOND ROUND BEGINS IN APPROXIMATELY ONE MINUTE!"

"Dang!" yelled Axel.

He and Marluxia teleported to the rink, where everybody else was waiting. Chanelle and Amanda were standing in front of them all, getting ready to read the rules of the challenge.

"Alright," said Amanda. "Now that everybody is here, I have to inform all of you that we've added a new rule to our main list. Here it is: No saying the word that we all know that starts with an r and ends with an m."

"Anyways, you should know better than to do that," said Chanelle. "It hurts everybody."

"Amen," chorused Zexion, Saïx, Xemnas, and Luxord. Of course, nobody else knew what they were talking about, but they pretended like they did.

"Now here are the rules of this round," said Amanda. "Each member must perform several tricks to music that is at least three minutes long. We will pick each member's name out of a bag and will go in that order."

Chanelle got the bag and pulled out the first name. Axel really hoped he wasn't first.

"And the first person to go is…" she announced.

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Oooooooh! Cliffie! Well, kind of I guess. Sorry that this chapter stunk, but I typed it all at like 11 at night, so I hope it isn't that bad.

w00t!


	11. Talent Round: Part One

HI!! I am finally updating! I know it's been a very long while since I have, but I've been busy with school crap and everything, so please enjoy this new chapter!

Also I wanted to add that when I went trick-or-treating I went as Saïx. He's one of my favorite characters, so yeah. The wig was the hardest part, and it still looks like crap. And now, on to the story.

P.S. – This round will be divided into three parts, because fitting 13 members into one chapter would make it really long.

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Talent Round: Part One

"…AXEL!" Chanelle yelled maliciously.

Axel fell down onto his knees and raised his arms up to the sky.

"PORQUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEE!?!?!?!?" he yelled with a vengeance.

"Ja, ja," snickered Zexion, who grabbed the tip jar from Christine and pelted it at the helpless Axel.

"Tu estas muy malo!" snapped Axel. "Yo no quiero nadie!"

Saïx looked over to Xemnas.

"Donde esta mi burrito?" he asked.

"No se," answered the Superior. "Yo lo puede esta en su pantelones."

"Que loco!" interjected Roxas randomly.

There was a very long and unnecessary moment of silencio.

"Alriiiiiight…let's get on with this," said Amanda slowly. "Axel! Get your anorexic ass up here!"

Axel whimpered slightly and "got his anorexic ass up there." He hung his head low and he could hear a small cheer from Roxas in the crowd. The judges sat down in their respective seats and waited for him to start. Axel prayed to god that Marluxia had picked somewhat decent music for his nonexistent routine. Standing completely still, he heard a faint sound come out of the speakers. At first it was soft…and then it grew louder (obviously) until he could recognize exactly what song it was.

'_Remember the feeling, remember the day. My stone heart was breaking, my love ran away…"_

NO! This sucked! He had no routine, and he had to attempt to skate to _this _song. He glared at Marluxia, who was giving him a very enthusiastic thumbs-up.

'_Remind me to kill him later,'_ Axel thought to himself.

All of a sudden the main verse started.

'_Be my bad boy, be my man. Be my weekend lover but don't be my friend!'_

Axel suddenly found his feet start skating without his consent, which was probably because of the awesome technoness of the song. Pink lights (remember that Marluxia did all of the lights and music for Axel's "routine") shone down upon him as he did a perfect figure eight around the rink. A small cheer erupted from the miniscule crowd as Axel miraculously jumped up in the air and did a complete spin, afterwards landing it perfectly.

"Wow! I'm actually doing it!" he exclaimed while spinning around on one foot. "Maybe ice skating isn't so bad after all!"

Just then Darth Vader appeared in front of Axel and beat him up with a red and black Furby. Our slain hero fell down in agony. The lights turned back on and the very angry Chanelle, Amanda, Christine, and Katie stormed to the middle of the rink. Katie reached out and helped Axel up, and Christine pelted Darth Vader with the infamous tip jar.

"Ow!" yelled Darth Vader. "The force is strong with this one!"

"Shut up, Vader!" yelled Christine. "I have an empty tip jar and I'm not afraid to use it!"

"Good," said Vader. "Your hatred makes you strong. Join me, and together, we'll rule this pathetic ice dome!"

"LOSER!" yelled Christine, chucking the tip jar at Vadie.

"OW! I'm not paid enough for this job! Let's go, Furby!"

Darth Vader and the Furby of doom poofed on outta there. Now on with the main plot of our story.

"WHO SAID THE WORD?" asked Amanda angrily.

The whole crowd parted until everybody was surrounding and pointing at Saïx, who turned even paler than normal.

"What did we say about the word, Saïx?" asked Chanelle with slight irritation in her voice.

"I-I didn't do it!" he squeaked.

"Then who did, Galadriel?" asked Amanda.

Suddenly a booming female voice appeared out of nowhere.

"I DID!" she yelled.

A portal appeared out of the ceiling, and Sora, Kairi, Riku, and some other person landed on the poor, small form of Axel.

"MY BAAAAAAAACK!" he screamed, falling over again.

Sora and gang (and the unnamed weirdo) got up from their heap on the floor and walked over to Xemnas.

"Sora," said Xemnas through gritted teeth.

"Xemnas," replied Sora just as meanly.

"Sora."

"Xemnas."

"SORA."

"XEMNAS."

"SORASS."

"MANSEX."

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT, YOU INSUFFERABLE BRAT!" yelled Xemnas, lunging at Sora.

"Mommy!" yelled Sora as he was assaulted by the enraged tan dude. Sora just barely missed Xemnas's lightsabers.

Chanelle and Amanda got in the middle of them both and broke it up.

"Stop it!" yelled Amanda. "You know the rules! No decapitation or brutal slaughtering on the ice rink!"

"I can't even cut off one arm?" whimpered Xemnas.

"No."

"A finger?"

"No."

"A strand of hair?"

"No."

"An atom?"

Amanda stopped and thought for a second.

"….no."

"YOU SUCK!"

The mysterious person that had landed in the heap with Sorass, Kairi, and Riku went and stood in front of Amanda.

"Hey," she said. "Don't insult Amanda. She's AWESOME!"

Everybody stared at the girl with thirteen piercings and silvery blue hair.

"Who are you?" asked Roxas.

"I am the authoress!" she announced. "Bow down to my superiority!"

Everybody remained standing.

"Okay, let me rephrase that. Bow down to my superiority or I start unleashing fangirls."

In a nanosecond, every member of the Organization, Riku, and Sora were on their knees in front of her feet.

"That's better!" she said. "Now, as this is my first day of dictatorship, I command all of you to entertain me!"

Zexion got up from the floor and stared at WindofDancingFlames straight in the eye.

"I'm not listening to you, or doing your petty chores!" he declared.

"Excellent!" said WoDF. "So do you prefer the vampiric fangirls or the ones with rabies?"

Zexion gulped and forced himself back into a bowing position.

"Good boy!" said WoDF. "Now, I'm afraid I'm going to have to end this chapter, because my hands are getting tired. Until next time!"

"Hey, wait!" said Christine. "Since when does this story have a narrator?"

"Since now," answered WoDF. "You can be co-narrator!"

"EXCELLENT! I can get rid of this fricken tip jar!" said Christine.

"w00t!" said Marluxia.

"And so, we shall continue our story in the next chapter, where most of the next round will take place," said Christine into a random mic. "Buenos noches, y tuviste una mucha divertida dia manana!"

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Hmmmmm…I'm highly disappointed with chapter. It has too much OC and not enough Orgy. But I DO promise the next chapter will be filled to the brim with Orgy XIII. And I'm really sorry for the Spanish. I just got done with Spanish class and I learned too much too keep it all in my head, yo pienso. See, there I go again!

Oh yes, and I also want to make sure that all of you know that the "word" mentioned in this chapter is "random", but hopefully you knew that while you were reading.

Ah well, you can tell me how much this piece of crap sucked by clicking the little purple review button. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO! Darth Vader commands it!


	12. Talent Round: Part Two

I'M SORRY! I've been a bad author! I haven't updated in (count it) over three months! I feel terrible. So as a sorry present (if there's such thing, I guess), I'm going to make this chapter EXTRA LONG to make up for the lost months of service. Oh yes, and chapter 12 doesn't start until after the Spanish translation. Many people were wondering what all of the Spanish stuff meant, so I took the liberty of posting it in English at the beginning of this chapter. I hope you all enjoy!

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Chapter Eleven (Spanish Translation)

"…AXEL!" Chanelle yelled maliciously.

Axel fell to his knees and raised his arms up to the sky.

"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!" he yelled with a vengeance.

"Ha, ha," snickered Zexion, who grabbed the tip jar from Christine and pelted it at the helpless Axel.

"You are very bad!" snapped Axel. "I don't like anybody!"

Saïx looked over to Xemnas.

"Where is my burrito?" he asked.

"I don't know," answered the Superior. "I think it is in your pants."

"How crazy!" interjected Roxas randomly.

There was a very long and unnecessary moment of silence.

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There you have it! A complete translation from the last chapter! Now, on with the thing that everybody really wants…CHAPTER 12!!! If this chapter sucks, blame it on evil undead monkeys.

Just as a little side note, the Talent Round should be done by this chapter. More info on it later.

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Chapter Twelve: Talent Round: Part Two

"Welcome back to the show, everybody!" yelled WindOfDancingFlames.

"Why are you still here?" asked Xemnas.

"Your mom's still here," replied the author.

Xemnas sniffled and said, "How dare you talk like that about my mommy!"

"You don't even have a mommy," commented Xaldin. If Xaldin says mommy, it sounds weird, on that note. Even if you're reading it…it's just weird.

"Alright, I've had it!" yelled Xigbar from the back of the crowd.

"What's wrong?" asked Luxord.

The whole Organization was paying attention to him now. A white spotlight shone upon the lone figure of Xigbar at the front of the crowd, bringing out the nostalgic gleam in his wise old eyes…

"Would you stop it with the detail?" asked Xigbar. "Can't you see I'm trying to preach here! And my eyes aren't that old!"

"Just go on, Fuhrer Von Augenklappe," said Axel.

"First of all, call me that again and I will kill you, Axel," continued Xigbar. "Second of all, I think everybody agrees with me when I say this: There are WAY too many OCs in this story for its own good. I mean really, take a look around you. How many OCs are there? Seven…eight? We need to stop this while we can."

"Viva la revolucion!" shouted Zexion. This was then followed by a series of confused stares, all aimed at Zexion.

"I disagree!" yelled Christine from the judge's table. Everyone started to look at her. She was (once again) armed with the tip jar, just in case anybody wanted to eat her. She was secretly made of chocolate. Yummy.

"You have no say in this!" yelled Saïx. "You're just an…an…OC!"

"Xigbar is right!" shouted Xemnas. "I think everybody agrees that OC's are a nuisance and are useless in this story."

"I don't…," muttered Marly.

"Schließen Sie die Hölle, Packesel ab!" yelled Luxord.

"Just because you're blond haired and blue-eyed does NOT mean you can speak German like that, Luxord!" yelled Roxas.

"Nazi!" yelled someone from the crowd.

"I'm a Brit! Are you all off your trolleys?" argued Luxord.

"That's it! Brit or Nazi, he's DEAD!" yelled Xaldin.

"Y'know, he could be a British Nazi," commented Zexion quietly, but nobody heard him.

Xaldin then jumped on Luxord, drawing all six of his sharp and pointy lances. Xigbar, who had started everything, started beating up poor Roxas for no apparent reason, and Larxene (who had gotten her insect nasteh hair messed up by Xaldin's wind) went on a rampage and started beating Lexaeus up. Marluxia, Xemnas, and Zexion were the only ones who had decided to stay out of it. Marly stayed out of it because he wanted to be in perfect shape for the talent round and didn't want to break a nail, Xemnas stayed out of it because it would've set a bad example for his underlings, and Zexion stayed out of it because he was a sensitive emo and believed fighting was stupid. But Zexion isn't really a sensitive emo, he just is really smart.

Meanwhile, Chanelle and Amanda were trying to break everything up (which was to no avail). Chanelle ended up being mauled by a bear because a bear had appeared when Zexion had said "random", and Amanda got distracted when a fluffy poodle appeared at her side, which also happened to be when Zexion said "random". Katie was busy throwing crappy junk food at the big mob of fighting nobodies and zapping them with her x-ray vision dorky glasses, and Christine was trying to kill Saïx with her newly acquired tip jar bazooka.

At the end of all things, every Organization member, OC, poodle, and bear that had been fighting was laying in a bloody heap on the floor. Zexion, Marluxia, and Xemnas stood on the sidelines completely unharmed, yet feeling sorry for their lost comrades. Even the two remaining judges, Katraeya and Alexis, had been injured by the battle. The only people left other than Zexion, Xemnas, and Marluxia were Sora, Riku, and Kairi. The authoress was nowhere to be seen.

"Well, this has been a crappy chapter so far," said Zexion.

"Huh?" said Xemnas.

"Nothing," answered Zexion, hiding the script within his cloak. "But it's going to get better…"

"Huh?" said Lexaeus from the bloody heap on the floor.

"Nothing, Lexaeus."

"Well, I guess we're going to have to postpone the talent round for the…," began Xemnas.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO times five trillion!" yelled Marluxia in anger. "WE ARE GOING TO HAVE THIS TALENT ROUND EVEN IF I AM LAYING ON MY **DEATH BED! WE NEED THE TALENT ROUND NOW!**"

"Okay, crazy guy…we'll do it if you stop acting so fricken weird," said Xemnas, obviously freaked out.

"YAY! Can I go first PLEEEEEEASE?"

"What did I just say, Marluxia?" said Xemnas sternly.

"Sorry…"

"Well, we're going to need to find judges first," pointed out Zexion. "But I'm not going to help."

"Alright," said Xemnas. "But you're competing whether you like it or not."

"But…"

"No."

"But…"

"Not listening."

"But…"

"No way."

"But…"

"Nope."

"RANDOM!"

Xemnas's head fell off.

"Zexion, you put my head back on RIGHT NOW or I'm giving you garbage duty for the rest of the month! YOU ARE GOING TO COMPETE!"

"You people are so stupid…," muttered the very displeased Zexion.

Zexion, being angry now, picked Xemnas's head up and punted it across the rink.

"THAT'S IT!" yelled the flying Xemnas head. "Garbage duty for a YEAR."

It landed in the middle of the ice rink with a loud plop.

"OW!" yelled Xemnas's head. "Could somebody help me here?"

But nobody could because 1) Most of the people who actually liked Xemnas were in a bloody heap on the floor 2) Everybody who was not hurt/amputated/fried like a potato did not like him 3) Everybody was laughing. Like, hysterically.

"Stop laughing!" yelled Xemnas. "I'll just put my head back on myself!"

Xemnas's headless body started running in the direction of where his frustrated head was shouting, but because it didn't have eyes to see where it was going it started running into walls and slipping on the ice. Everybody was laughing and even Zexion had a flicker of a smile on his face. He got many high fives from Marluxia and the others, but got disapproving glares from Saïx. Saïx was probably the only one who didn't think this was funny. He's such a kissup.

Xemnas's body slipped on the ice again and was flailing its arms trying to get up. All of a sudden Sora and Riku ran out onto the ice and started kicking Xemnas's poor head back and forth to each other.

"THAT REALLY HURTS!" he yelled as he was punted into a hockey net.

"Yeah, two points!" yelled Riku as he took Xemnas's head back out onto the rink and swerved with it screaming between his legs.

"OOF! STOP IT!" yelled Xemnas. Everyone on the sidelines cheered as Sora scored another goal.

"COME GET ME YOU IDIOT!" yelled Xemnas to his clueless body, which had fallen down for the millionth time.

The body started running in his head's general direction, which was everywhere now because Sora and Riku were kicking it back and forth across the rink. The body tripped over a hockey net this time and landed on its front, and then tried to catch Xemnas's screaming head as it whizzed by.

"I'M OVER HERE, DUMBASS!" yelled the screaming head.

The body got up again and started chasing the head once more, only to be knocked over by Sora. Finally it got bored and gave up, and Xemmy had to wait before Zexion felt sorry enough to put his head back on. After everything had cleared up and the laughter had ceased – he, Zexion, and Marluxia were ready to go on the ice and get the talent round over with. Because the OC judges were all mauled and lying on the floor in a bloody heap, the author has replaced them with Sora, Kairi, and Riku. Zexion had agreed to skate because he did feel a little sorry for Xemnas, and it was only fair that he did what Xemnas wanted.

"Alright. Marluxia is up first," said Sora.

"YAY!" yelled Marly.

Marluxia skated out onto the rink and moved to the center, where a bright pink spotlight shone down on him. Suddenly the music began.

"_Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide - no escape from reality."_

Marluxia began a swift figure eight around the rink, with the soft pink light following him like a hawk.

"_Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see."_

He twirled and danced without missing a single land. His performance was totally excellent.

"_I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy. Because I'm easy come, easy go. A little high, little low."_

And then Marluxia did a double backflip, which made several people "ooh" and "aah" in the crowd.

"That was random, I mean doing a backflip like that," said Zexion quietly to himself. But he didn't know the severity of what he just said…

All of a sudden Marly tripped…on a fluffy cute little poodle. Amanda nearly cried, and Marly did. Everybody looked at Zexion, who was red with embarrassment now.

"Sorry," he said, backing away. But Xemnas grabbed him before he could run far enough from the crowd, and Zexion whimpered in pain.

"Someone get duct tape. NOW," said Xemnas with a smile of glee.

Zexion gulped as the extremely hurt Marluxia brought over a giant roll of duct tape. Xemnas smiled as he took it from Marly's hands and ripped a big piece off.

"Duct tape fixes EVERYTHING," said Xemnas happily as he taped Zexion's mouth shut, then casting a spell on it that locked it on there. "That should fix that."

"What do _I _do now?" asked Marluxia. "Should the judges judge me or should I try again?"

"No, not yet," answered Xemnas. "I have an even better idea. Zexion still owes me a little from that incident with my head."

Zexion's eyes pleaded for forgiveness and he shook his head vigorously "no".

"Take Zexion here and use him in your act," said Xemnas. "You can throw him and catch him all you want, but just don't break too many of his bones."

Marluxia smiled the same evil smile that Xemnas was smiling.

"As you wish, my Superior," said Marluxia while taking Zexion out of Xemnas's hands.

"Good boy, Marly," said Xemnas, patting him on the head. Saïx would've either screamed or killed Marluxia if he wasn't beaten into a bloody pulp at the moment.

Marluxia went back out onto the rink with Zexion in his arms, still smiling his malicious smile, and the music started again. It was the same routine so far, except for the fact that he was throwing Zexion up into the air every few seconds and then catching him inches before he touched the ground. By the end of it, Zexion was as green as the Incredible Hulk. Marluxia skated over to the judge's table and plopped Zexion down onto the ice, eager to hear what they had to say. Kairi went first.

"I LOVED IT! IT WAS AWESOME!" she said. "10/10!"

Marluxia jumped up with joy.

"Poodle!" yelled Sora, running after the cute fluffy poodle that had tripped Marly before.

"Um…yay?" said Marluxia, not really sure what to think. "What do you say, Riku?"

"It was pretty good. I hated the pink. I'll give you a 5/10."

"WHAT! That's not even a passing grade!" complained Marly.

"I said I didn't like the pink. Oh, and I also feel sorry for the jolly green giant here. That deducted three points."

"Meanie! I demand a recount!"

"Now don't be so upset AL GORE. I'll deduct another point if you don't stop talking."

"Sorry…"

Marluxia picked Zexion up sadly and went over to Xemnas and then threw him back on the floor, too depressed to do anything.

"Next up is Xemnas," said Riku. Sora was still chasing the poodle.

Xemnas went out onto the rink with his triumphant smile and stood near the middle. This time an orange spotlight shone down on him. The music started.

"_I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts."_

Xemnas started skating like Michael Jackson would dance, and everybody's brains fried. After about two seconds into the song, Riku was kind enough to speak up.

"STOP! YOU LOSE!" he yelled angrily. The music stopped and the spotlight turned off. Xemnas stopped dancing and went over to the judge's table, already knowing what they would say.

"Will someone please cut off my ears and gouge out my eyes?" asked Kairi. "That was probably the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life. Riku?"

"I agree," said Riku. "You're disqualified."

"WHAT!" yelled Xemnas. "But I…"

"Sorry, not listening. Now let's announce the winner!"

Riku skated out to the middle of the rink and grabbed a microphone that dropped from the ceiling.

"Because Xemnas was disqualified, half of the contestants were mauled completely, and Marluxia had an illegal usage of bishonen, the winner by disqualification is Axel!"

There was a muffled "YAY" from the pile of mauled people.

"And we'll have the next round in about thirty minutes," said Kairi. "Everybody get ready!"

And so they did.

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Phew! Done with that chapter. Again, I'm sorry for not updating for a while, but I've been really busy. I'll try to be more regular from now on.

And now I need your help. I want people's opinions on my OCs. If the majority want to keep them, then I will. But if everybody hates them then I won't.

Until next time,

WODF


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